More grumbles among our MSPs about the Lib Dems - everyone expects Nicol Stephen to quit the coalition soon, so most of us want Jack to get in first by booting them out. Jack's not having any of it, though. "I leave politics to the politicians," he said. "I see myself more as a higher authority - a kind of statesman, philosopher and teen idol wrapped into one. Like Warren Beatty."
Wonderful day watching Blair's government collapse down south. Andy Kerr has videoed Patricia Hewitt getting booed off at the Royal College of Nursing. "It's pride of place in my collection, above Ally McCoist's 100 greatest goals and my Jane Fonda exercise tapes," he said.
Didn't think it could get any better until we saw Charles Clarke getting kebabbed over the deportation scandal. I rang up Fred Tough, his special adviser. "Hi Fred. Listen, sorry about your troubles. Just to say that if you need any help...don't ask us! Dawn raids ya bass!" It seemed funny at the time, then I remembered there's a joint Home Office/Justice Department meeting next month. He's a big guy is Fred.
Jack was on the ball immediately: "We need to tell Brown that now is the time to strike. Tell him that I, the undistilled spirit of Scotland, am behind him," he declared, sweeping from the room."
Just as well the spirit was undistilled. What would he have said if it had been distilled?