I'll remain with Shanks, thank you very much

You know you want to. So why not go ahead and read the article about the exploding loos? At the risk of offending those of delicate sensibilities, here is a taster:

The scandal centres on Toto, the largest Japanese manufacturer of electronically controlled lavatories and the company responsible for the notorious Washlet — a unit with an automatically warmed seat and a function that washes and then blow-dries its user’s fundament.

Insert your own bad-taste pun here.