08 September 2010

Playing away

The Telegraph reports on Mr Rooney's little friend:

The 21 year-old escort, from Bolton, is alleged to have been a “magnet” for Premier League players in bars and nightclubs.

Miss Thompson, who advertises herself as “Juicy Jen”, was reported to have slept with six defenders, three midfielders and four strikers, with two of the players married with children.

What? No goalkeepers?

07 September 2010

This Coulson business

It won't simply fade away, you know, however much the Government, the Met and the News of the World may so desire. There's more to come out, perhaps a lot more. Here is a good article in The Guardian setting out some of the unanswered questions.

For me, the most salient feature is the fact that the News of the World has already made out of court settlements of more than £1 million to each of Gordon Taylor of the Professional Footballers' Association and the publicist Max Clifford. Who's next?

Still think it's just a westminster village issue which will die away quietly? Not a snowball's chance ...

Here we go, I suppose

And so the mighty Liechtenstein deign to sully the hallowed turf of Hampden Park. But don't get over-excited. The Guardian remarks:
Craig Levein has launched a vigorous defence of his tactical approach with the national team, the Scotland manager pointing out that he will not bow to pressure from pundits or supporters to adopt an attacking style.
That being so, maybe we can expect a 1-0 (or perhaps a 2-0) thrashing by the boys in blue.

Me, I blame the fact that we have neither a Rooney nor a Crouch within our ranks. What we need, what we really really need, is a bit more off-field misbehaviour.

Footnote: Liechtenstein is sandwiched between Austria and Switzerland. It has a total population of about 35,000. Its football team has in the past beaten Latvia, Luxembourg and Iceland and once drew with Portugal.

Tony's animal instincts

If you read nothing else today, read this!

Oh woe! Thrice woe!

Where were we? It's just so depressing to state the current position. Not just because the SNP has chosen to abandon its central raison d'ĂȘtre of holding a referendum on independence; it can hardly have come as a surprise that the unionist parties were determined to oppose it. So where does the bold Alex go from here? I suppose that he has resigned himself to waiting for the day (which will never come) when the SNP obtains a majority in Holyrood. In the meantime, he will revert to the time-honoured practice of blaming everything on wicked Westminster, hoping in vain that the Scottish electorate will be too dumb to notice that even if they returned a thumping majority for the SNP next May and a referendum were held and won in - say - early 2012, the actual achievement of independence would thereafter take a number of years (three, five, seven?), during which we would continue to be subject to the rigours of Westminster-inspired cuts.

But that is just a fantasy when all the indications (notably a solid 10 point lead in the opinion polls) point to a comfortable (OK, not so comfortable) win for Labour, at least in terms of becoming the largest party in Holyrood. Can there ever have been a party so woefully ill-prepared to assume power? What will its manifesto say? With whom and on what terms will it seek to govern? What will it want to do, other than being a patsy for implementing Tory cuts? Will the grey Mr Gray have any influence at Westminster, even with his own party colleagues? Your guess is as good as mine, but don't hold your breath ...

03 September 2010

Nature watch

Here is the sad little tale of how Mao tried to kill off the sparrows.

Not that we are any better - when did you last see a sparrow in Edinburgh?

I see the cheeky wee chappies in Spain and they always make me feel that the world is a better place. Maudlin, I know ...

Public service announcement

Now listen up, sports fans, and concentrate. There are no easy choices on this Friday evening.

The obvious option is the Lithuania/Scotland match on BBC1 Scotland with a kick-off at 7.15pm. But if you are less than enamoured with watching geriatric centre-halves doing their limited best to achieve a glorious nil-nil thrashing, you may care to betray your country by watching the England/Bulgaria match on ITV1 (English stations only but you can probably catch it at http://www.itv.com/Channels/ITV1/default.html) with kick-off at 8.00 pm.

If neither of these matches entices you, why not abandon the round ball? BBC Alba is showing the Glasgow/Leinster rugby match at 7.00 pm. If your telly does not stretch to teuchtertv, it will probably be available live on the BBC i-player.

Finally, for those of the distaff persuasion, young Mr Murray's latest tennis match against some Jamaican will be on SkySports 2 (and on Eurosport), probably starting some time between 7pm and 8pm (depending upon how quickly two preceding ladies singles are disposed of).

Enjoy!

02 September 2010

Music of the week

For all the old lovers:

Bottom of the barrel

What kind of person uses his wife's deeply unfortunate and hitherto unknown medical history to defend himself against accusations of homosexuality?

Quote of the day

Warning: this may make you feel sick. It will certainly put you off your porridge.

From that damn book:
"That night she cradled me in her arms and soothed me; told me what I needed to be told; strengthened me; made me feel that what I was about to do was right," squelches Blair. "On that night of the 12th May, 1994, I needed that love Cherie gave me, selfishly. I devoured it to give me strength. I was an animal following my instinct, knowing I would need every ounce of emotional power to cope with what lay ahead. I was exhilarated, afraid and determined in roughly equal quantities."
Oh gawd, he should be writing for Mills & Boon ...

31 August 2010

In praise of ...

... Edinburgh public libraries, especially Stockbridge. Pleasant helpful staff. And for the princely sum of 20 pence, I was able to print off my boarding pass for next week's trip to Spain.

Yes, I do have a printer but it is less than functional at present. And yes I am returning once again to my bachelor pad (is that slightly out-dated?) on the Costa del Sol.

So viva Espana and viva Edinburgh public libraries.

Disgraceful

So the coalition government is choosing to opt out of (or not to opt in to) an EU directive to co-ordinate member states' action against sex traffickers. What possible justification could they have, other than seeking to appease the Tory wingnuts? Well try crunching down on this set of weasel words from the Home Office:

A Home Office spokesman said: "Human trafficking is a brutal form of organised crime, and combating it is a key priority for the government. The UK already complies with most of what is required by the draft EU directive.

"The government will review the UK's position once the directive has been agreed, and will continue to work constructively with European partners on matters of mutual interest. By not opting in now but reviewing our position when the directive is agreed, we can choose to benefit from being part of a directive that is helpful but avoid being bound by measures that are against our interests."

Does this flannel carry any meaning whatsoever? Surely better to agree to opt in and seek to strengthen the proposed directive in negotiations? I thought that Cleggy approved of Europe and that he wanted to co-operate with our EU partners?


30 August 2010

A trifle optimistic?

The Herald reports:
A Conservative revival in Scotland could take as long as 25 years, a senior party source has admitted as the Scottish Tories undertake a fundamental review to map out their future following a poor General Election performance.
What? So soon?

29 August 2010

Not so difficult after all

Some of these women hacks ask the most difficult questions. Here is an example from The Independent:

Joan Smith: Why do WAGs stay with men who play away?

Ooh! I'm so puzzled. Could it be their wonderful conversation? Or the fact that, almost by definition, they are young, fit and (usually) healthy? Is it their fashion sense?

Perhaps the answer lies in remembering the Caroline question to Mrs Paul Daniels: "What first attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels?"

28 August 2010

The Airdrie Savings Bank

Well yes, I have been to Airdrie in the past and was less than impressed. But if the savings bank is good enough for such luminaries as Tom Farmer, Brian Souter and David Murray, then I might well have opened an account for the few bawbees left me by Slasher Osborne.

But I would have to journey to Airdrie, not the most accessible place in the world if you don't have a motor. So, with apologies to the inhabitants of that quaint little rural village, maybe I'll wait until they open an office somewhere more civilised ...

27 August 2010

Quote of the day


Lord McConnell (here):
"As I enter the next decade - my 50s - I look forward to new challenges.

"I will continue my work on peacebuilding - across the world post conflict reconstruction is the single biggest development challenge of our time."

Just like a beauty queen of days gone by. If I were being unkind, I might point out that our Jack has neither the face nor the legs to match.

26 August 2010

Wimps

The Guardian reports:
Staff running parliament's new expenses system have been verbally abused and reduced to tears by MPs frustrated by the tough new rules, documents show.
Aw diddums. Did big bad MP make you cry?

Pathetic. Grow up! Get some backbone! Did you think it would be easy? These MPs have had it on a plate for donkeys' years. About time someone put the boot in.

It's a fairy tale

Once upon a time, there was a young chancellor of the exchequer named Gideon. (He called himself George but his real name was Gideon.) When Gideon prepared his first budget, he decided that he should call it progressive. Nobody was clear about why this should be, as the budget's centrepiece was a hike in VAT, which was unquestionably regressive - in that it obviously had a more adverse effect on the finances of the poor than on those of the rich.

Then a big bad thinktank called the IFS came along and crunched the numbers. Gideon and his coalition pals hated the IFS 'cos it was good at sums (whereas politicians were notoriously innumerate). And the IFS in its fussy, pedantic way concluded that the budget was far from progressive. Not that Gideon cared much; he had only said it was progressive in order to attract a cheap headline and to confound his parliamentary opposition (as labour politicians were also not very good at sums).

Because Gideon was on holiday (in a secret location), it fell to Little Nicky to leap into the breach and, wielding the sword of truth, to defend the honour of the coalition. Alas, Little Nicky botched it up good and proper by suggesting that the IFS had failed to take into account the coalition's proposals to get the unemployed off benefits and into work. This was all a bit fanciful as nobody believed that the coalition's proposals would work. Even if they managed to reduce the numbers on benefits, there was unlikely to be any work for the unemployed to go to. But Little Nicky burbled on and on, thus giving the IFS even more publicity than if he had kept his mouth shut.

And so the IFS emerged from the imbroglio with its reputation enhanced, while Little Nicky once again looked like a prat.

And that's the story so far. Tune in to the next episode when Gideon tries to explain why he failed to carry out the equalities assessment of the budget as required by statute.

24 August 2010

Has it come to this?

Is it fair to ask senescent footballers to cast aside their zimmer frames in order to don the national colours once again? Is a 40 year old, who can barely break into a run, the best we can do?

Despair ...

PS Perhaps, Mr K Dalgleish would care to look out his boots? Or Mr J Jordan might take out his teeth once again? And I feel sure that Mr J Holton (Six foot two, eyes of blue, big Jim H is after you!) could once more do a turn.

Rugby in the Gaelic

It's a funny old world when Teuchter TV can do things that BBC Scotland and STV can't or won't. The Caley Merc reports:
Glasgow Warriors’ home game with Leinster on Friday 3 September will be covered live on BBC Alba, launching a season-long programme of live professional rugby matches on the Gaelic channel, it was announced today.

BBC Alba will then cover the Edinburgh’s home match against Munster on Friday 10 September at 7pm, live from Murrayfield.

BBC ALBA has signed an exclusive deal to show live Magners League rugby in Scotland for the next four years. The channel is committed to showing at least eight Edinburgh or Glasgow home matches per season, and has teamed up with Irish, Welsh and Italian broadcasters to also provide live coverage of selected away matches for both sides.

It's not as though the mainstream channels have anything else of value by way of live sport to offer. And I refuse to believe that it would have been expensive. So well done BBC Alba. And I hope BBC Scotland and STV are suitably ashamed.

23 August 2010

Translation

Headline in The Independent:

Torrential rain hits Britain

What they mean: It's been a bit wet in the south of England.

21 August 2010

Quote of the day

Politics is not what it was. Here are some of the instructions issued by the Miliband D team on how to organise support parties, as cited in The Independent:
Hosts are given precise timings to ensure the "big day" runs smoothly. They are told to be home by 5.30pm so they can "give the place a quick vacuum and general tidy (or not, if you're not that type)".

They should then "put the oven on and get the nibbles in. If there are drinks, get them chilling [and] pick some music". Now is the time to get membership forms "at the ready" and line up the entertainment – a David Miliband video.

When people arrive, "take their coats, get them a drink" and get them to fill in a "sign-in sheet". There should then be 20 minutes of introductions and general political chat.
Young Mr M seems to be confusing the business of politics with that of middle class socialising. I can remember a time when Labour Party politicians were more interested in socialism than socialising.

Those of us who regard drinkies and nibbles with considerable distaste have obviously been cast into the outer darknesses. Furthermore, should Mr M be enlisting the support of non-vacuuming types? I doubt if they would fit in to his squeaky clean approach to politics.

20 August 2010

Music of the week

The one and only k d lang:

High politics and the Hibees

I don't want to write about Mr Rowland's aborted bid to become Tory treasurer. I merely note that, if Mr Cameron had consulted the Easter Road faithful, some of this unpleasantness might have been avoided.

Anyway, Mr Rowland has recently acquired a bank in Luxembourg (as one does) and would have been too busy to play at being Tory treasurer.

Bye-bye GI

Look, it's complicated, OK? Yes, Operation Iraqi Freedom has been brought to a close and the Americans have withdrawn their combat troops, all apart from 6000 troops due to go before the end of August and a further 50,000 troops who will remain in Iraq up to the end of 2011. Those 50,000 will be mainly tasked with training up the Iraqi army but will still engage in joint patrols which will no doubt lead to combat operations.

And, yes, the Iraqis had an election in March but they have yet to establish a government. And, admittedly, July was the worst month for two years with a reported 535 fatalities. A further 59 were killed by suicide bomber on Tuesday this week. But the country is said to be stable enough for the Americans to withdraw.

Nor is Iraq financially sustainable:

The [US] state department ... requested $1.8bn for Iraq for the coming financial year, a figure subsequently slashed by the House and Senate.

Members of Congress say that Iraq, with its huge oil reserves, should take a bigger share of the financial burden, but state department officials believe it will be eight to 10 years before Iraq is self-sustaining financially.

But don't dwell upon the downside. And don't ever ask if it was all worth it. Just rejoice, if you can ...

19 August 2010

The greed of public sector fatcats - again

Hard to defend, not least for sneaking out the news in mid-August. The Herald reports:
Fury erupted last night over six-figure salary and pension benefits to senior executives at a Scottish Government agency.

Enterprise Minister Jim Mather was called on to explain why Scottish Enterprise gave its chief executive Lena Wilson a £234,000 pension-pot top-up, and her predecessor Jack Perry a £115,000 pay-off following his resignation last year.

And the Scottish Government does not make much of a fist in defending it:
A Scottish Government spokesman said it was keeping a tight rein on public-sector pay. He added that it had frozen top earners’ pay and asked quango chiefs to waive their bonuses.
Cue hollow laughter.

17 August 2010

Quote of the day

Norman Smith of the BBC (here):

There is among senior ministers a growing concern that the relentless talk of cuts, cuts, cuts is beginning to sound a bit like a stuck record - and that there is a pressing need to move the government's political agenda on to another track.

The fear is that the public will begin to think that all this coalition is interested in is hacking back public services and that the future is dark and bleak.

Yeah well.

Is the Coalition interested in anything other than cuts? Maybe education, but that seems to have fallen away when Gove got his lists wrong and few schools signed up to become academies. Whereas cuts are what floats coalition ministers' boat and what tickles their erogenous zones. Indeed, all the signs are that Slasher Osborne and his crew are drooling over the prospect.

Is the future dark and bleak? You bet. Unless, of course, you are a banker or a tycoon.

A trick of the light

Does Voldemort suddenly reveal that he was a good guy after all? Does Iago indicate that he just wanted to test Othello's love for Desdemona? Does Cap'n Bob reappear to explain that he had tucked away the money in an investment hidey-hole and that all the pensioners would be paid in full? Does Fred the Shred renounce his sins and promise from hereon to devote his life to social work?

Bad man does good thing? A noble, generous gesture or the product of a guilty conscience? If it is the former, why do I keep expecting some sort of spin, a hidden motive, a revelation that there is a con involved? Why cannot I just accept the fact of the donation, give thanks and move on?

Villains should remain villains: it's what we feel comfortable with.

At the risk of being churlish and of denying royalties to the Royal British Legion, no, I will not be buying the damn book.

16 August 2010

Perverse?

Is BBC3 obsessed with under-age girls? Here is an extract from last night's TV schedule:
  1. 23:15–00:15
    How an ordinary schoolgirl from the Isle of Man became a teen icon in Japan. (R)
  1. 00:15–01:15
    4/6. The contestants face their fourth work placement as teachers in a posh secondary school. (R)
  2. 01:15–01:45
    4/6. New mum Michela is struggling to cope with her new workload and the loss of her freedom. (R)
  3. 01:45–02:15
    3/6. Model Lucie Brassington makes her debut at running her own pageant, Miss Mini Photogenic. (R)
To say the least, weird.

The dirty man of Europe


Well, what did you expect? That, when push came to shove, the Tories would stand by their environmental promises? The Guardian reports:

The coalition is watering down a commitment to tough new environmental emissions standards, raising the possibility of dirty coal-fired power stations such as Kingsnorth going ahead.

Green groups are aghast that a flagship policy called for in opposition by both Lib Dems and Tories, and which they last year tried to force on the Labour government, will now not be implemented in the coalition's first energy bill to be published this year.

Even with LibDem Huhne in the box-seat at the Department of Energy, the coalition is revealing how little it cares for greenery ...

14 August 2010

Just to cheer you up

Headline from The Telegraph:

Summer is unofficially over with thunder and lightning due in parts of the country this weekend and damp weather predicted until November, forecasters said.

Don't worry - be happy.

Dr Liam No-mates Fox

The Defence Secretary is running out of chums. The Independent reports:

The number of senior officers in Britain’s armed forces is likely to be cut as part of sweeping measures to tackle a £37 billion black hole in the defence budget.

The thinning-out of the military hierachy was one of the main proposals presented by Liam Fox in a keynote speech today in which he called for the Ministry of Defence to be leaner, less centralised and more transparent.

The good doctor has already upset No 10 with his maladroit removal of the improbably named Sir Jock Stirrup as Chief of Staff. He is also at daggers drawn with the Treasury over the financing of the Trident replacement. So who will he turn to when the boom comes down?

Couldn't happen to a nicer fellow ...



A brief aperçu

Picture the scene. Pisa Airport, last Tuesday. Waiting in the check-in queue for his flight home after his brief Italian holiday is the Rt Hon Alex Salmond MSP, our beloved First Minister.

Nothing much is happening, however. So the FM withdraws from the queue of ordinary mortals and is next seen being ushered through the check-in procedures ahead of the vulgar throng. He is then transported from the boarding gate to the plane (even though it is only a few yards) and duly ensconced in the front row of the aeroplane. Similar treatment at the other end sees him whisked through passport control.

What? You thought that Ryanair treated everyone - without fear or favour - like cattle? Get away!

13 August 2010

Good enough for government business

Ah yes, TopShop. Not an emporium I usually patronise. But I understand that it is not renowned either for the quality of its products or for its sterling service. "Cheap and cheerful" appears to be its watchword (or watchwords).

But its boss, Sir Philip Green, has been appointed as an efficiency adviser to the Cameron government, to identify spending inefficiencies and potential savings. Let us leave aside the little matter of the fact that he bases himself in Monaco; that is a matter between him and the taxman. But I beg leave to doubt if this is the man to understand the way in which government spending works. The procurement of weapon systems, or road improvements, or hospital drugs, or agricultural research is rather different from commissioning cheap skirts and tops from Asian sweatshops.

But Sir Philip has pots of money, so his appointment must be all right, mustn't it?

Update:

Oh dear, oh dear. The Guardian comments:
Green is prickly about questions surrounding his tax status. Last night he is said to have called a newspaper journalist a "fucking tosser" after being asked whether his appointment raised questions about his tax affairs.
Somehow, I don't think that this appointment is destined to be a success.

All talk and no trousers

See that Mr Cameron pontificating about tourism? His words are at variance with his policies. Simon Calder of The Indie explains why:

Mr Cameron is absolutely right that Britain punches below its weight in attracting overseas visitors, but that is largely because governments have never taken this invisible export seriously; we do not even have a ministry with "tourism" in the title.

Furthermore the UK imposes tough visa rules on the nations with the fastest-growing, travel-hungry middle classes, including Russia, India and China.

Add in the imminent rise in VAT, which will make us more expensive, and an air passenger duty structure that appears designed to export stopover traffic to Amsterdam, Paris or Dubai, and the multi-billion-pound tourism deficit looks here to stay.

I grow increasingly tired of fatuous Cameronian interventions which amount to little more than headline-grabbing in an attempt to look busy during the holidays.

Well worth a read

The Independent prints one of the greatest ever speeches - by the late Jimmy Reid. Here is the start:

Alienation is the precise and correctly applied word for describing the major social problem in Britain today. People feel alienated by society. In some intellectual circles it is treated almost as a new phenomenon. It has, however, been with us for years. What I believe is true is that today it is more widespread, more pervasive than ever before. Let me right at the outset define what I mean by alienation. It is the cry of men who feel themselves the victims of blind economic forces beyond their control. It's the frustration of ordinary people excluded from the processes of decision-making. The feeling of despair and hopelessness that pervades people who feel with justification that they have no real say in shaping or determining their own destinies.

Many may not have rationalised it. May not even understand, may not be able to articulate it. But they feel it. It therefore conditions and colours their social attitudes. Alienation expresses itself in different ways in different people. It is to be found in what our courts often describe as the criminal antisocial behaviour of a section of the community. It is expressed by those young people who want to opt out of society, by drop-outs, the so-called maladjusted, those who seek to escape permanently from the reality of society through intoxicants and narcotics. Of course, it would be wrong to say it was the sole reason for these things. But it is a much greater factor in all of them than is generally recognised.

...


I urge you to read all of it.

12 August 2010

Sex and the mobile phone

Not a lot of people know this:
A new study conducted by online dating service OkCupid.com has revealed iPhone users have sex with twice the number of partners their Android-using counterparts have.

By the age of 30, men with an iPhone have had around 10 different partners. Their BlackBerry counterparts average around 8.1 partners.

Men with an Android-powered smartphone might just about be ready to trade in their device - with an average of only 6 partners by the time they are 30.

I suppose that there is little hope for those of us without an iPhone or a Blackberry or an Android smartphone (whatever that is); while those of us without any kind of mobile phone must be beyond redemption. Let me hope that no-one tells my girlfriends ...

A big bad Conservative took away my playground

Is this another candidate for a Cameron U-turn?

Hundreds of playground developments are being mothballed following government spending cuts.

The Department for Education (DfE) has frozen grants to 132 local councils for up to 1,300 play area schemes – many of which were originally designed by children.

The only developments allowed to go ahead will be those where construction has already started.

It is unclear how many planned playgrounds will now be scrapped.

If the kiddies' milk ration is to be regarded as sacrosanct, should their playgrounds be sacrificed on the altar of Slasher Osborne's axe-wielding? Is there a significant difference which justifies milk as opposed to playgrounds?

(None of this applies in Scotland where I assume there are no special arrangements for children's playgrounds.)

11 August 2010

Music of the week

Don't even try to analyse the lyrics - just enjoy:

Acronym of the week

A bit childish, perhaps, is this mania for grouping countries under unwanted labels. The Independent reports the latest:
If the UK can export more to the Brics and the new "Civets" (Colombia, Indonesia, Vietnam, Egypt, Turkey and South Africa), the monthly trade figures may turn out to be the best, and possibly the only, regularly good economic news in the years ahead.
So you can add CIVETS to BRICs and PIGS (or maybe PIIGS).

Background Note 1: The term 'civet' is more usually used to describe a group of smallish tree-loving mammals found in the tropics.

Background Note 2: There must be considerable doubt about the economic capacity of most of the so-called CIVETS to absorb significant increases in British exports - but, hey, the guys should keep trying.

10 August 2010

Treading a well-trod path

Not very convincing, is it? The Independent reports:

An "uncompromising" crackdown on benefit cheats will be unveiled in the autumn, David Cameron pledged today.

The Prime Minister said reducing the £5.2 billion annual cost of fraud and error would be the "first and deepest" cut in public spending.

I mean, it's the kind of thing all Prime Ministers say. And it secures a headline or two. But the promised crackdown never seems to materialise. The cost of benefit fraud is said to be £1.5 billion; but this represents less than 1% of total benefit costs of over £160 billion. Is it even possible to eliminate all fraud? Or is there an irreducible minimum, up with which we simply have to put?

As for error, that can hardly be the fault of the claimants. And who was it that made the system so complicated in the first place? (And Gordon Brown is not the sole culprit.) Furthermore, reducing civil servant numbers is unlikely to improve matters.

This government needs to do better.

09 August 2010

Quote of the day

From The Guardian (here), anent Sarah Ferguson's financial troubles:
The Queen was "deeply concerned" about Ferguson's debts, according to the Sunday Telegraph, and had discussed them with David Cameron recently at one of his weekly audiences. The newspaper said Prince Andrew, Ferguson's ex-husband, was masterminding a "rescue plan" to avoid the embarrassment of filing for bankruptcy.
The idea of Prince Andrew masterminding anything conveys a certain risibility. But if it keeps him away from yachts ...

08 August 2010

Hung out to dry?

No doubt rather sensible of Mr Cameron. The BBC reports:

UK Department of Health calls to scrap free nursery milk in Scotland have been ditched by Downing Street.

Westminster has powers to end free milk, yet the cost of the scheme in Scotland is met by Holyrood.

In a letter to the Scottish government, UK Public Health Minister Anne Milton said the scheme was costly and there was no evidence of health benefits.

But Downing Street scrapped the move after it emerged Prime Minister David Cameron was not aware of the proposals.

But where does that leave Ms Milton?



Just like old times


O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay! Some things never change. But as homage to the original milk snatcher in the 1970s, this takes some doing. The BBC reports:
Free milk for nursery children could be scrapped in Scotland under plans drawn up by the UK Department of Health.

06 August 2010

Doing their homework?

Yes - I know that the ostensible purpose of this blog is to discuss Scottish politics. But these are the dull days of August and nothing much of any significant political interest is taking place.

And, yet, we have an election in about 9 months. Would it be over-optimistic of me to presume that the backroom (and indeed front-room) boys and girls of the main parties are girding up their metaphorical loins in preparation? I appreciate that the Tories are once again pondering their collective navel; and the less said about the no-hopers of the LibDem persuasion the better.

Are the SNP organising themselves in the elaboration of a robust defence of a local income tax, ironing out the little (and not so little) difficulties caused by inadequate preparation the first time round?

Is Labour preparing a sound,defensible case for revising or replacing the council tax, rather than (as last time) leaving the matter to the last minute, thereby allowing themselves to be exposed as not having thought the matter through?

Do bears do their business in porcelain toilets?

Beyond satire

From the US Army Times (here):
This summer soldiers will start fighting with a new, “green” bullet that Army ballistics officials are touting as “the best general purpose 5.56mm round ever.”
...
The Enhanced Performance Round contains an environmentally friendly projectile that eliminates up to 2,000 tons of lead from the manufacturing process each year in direct support of Army commitment to environmental stewardship.
No doubt the Taliban will be pleased to hear that they are being shot at with green bullets.

Shades of indulgence















Seems a little tawdry, somehow, but if you wish to commemorate the papal visit, here is where to go to buy your Benedict t-shirt, baseball cap or fridge magnet.

05 August 2010

Quote of the day

From a Halifax ad (shown twice on ITV4 during the halftime interval of the Liverpool-Rabotnicki match):
"Better deals for our current account customers."
The truth, as spelled out in The Herald earlier in the day:
Bank of Scotland [of which Halifax is a part] is writing to tens of thousands of small business customers telling them that it will no longer pay interest on their current account balances, as owner Lloyds Banking Group unveils bumper first-half profits of £1.6 billion.

While UK base rates of 0.5% mean business customers of Bank of Scotland do not currently receive interest on their current accounts, the move by the bank could cost them many millions of pounds in total when the benchmark cost of borrowing eventually returns to more normal levels.

Do you still believe the banks are honest?

04 August 2010

Music of the week

Casus belli

How a tree almost started a war. The Independent reports:
It was a miserable, scrawny thing, probably a spruce and – after a 46-degree heatwave in Lebanon – its foliage blocked the Israeli security cameras on the Israeli-Lebanese border near Addaiseh. The Israelis decided to use a crane to rip it out. But there's a problem. No one is exactly sure where the Israeli-Lebanese border is.

In 2000, the UN drew a "Blue Line" along what was – in those long ago, post-Balfour days – the frontier between the French mandate of Lebanon and the British mandate of Palestine. Behind it, from the Lebanese point of view, stands the Israeli "technical fence", a mass of barbed wire, electrified wires and sandy roads (to look for footprints). So when the Lebanese army saw the Israelis manoeuvre a crane up to the fence yesterday morning, they began to shout at the Israelis to move back.

The moment the crane's arm crossed the "technical fence" – and here one must explain that the "Blue Line" does not necessarily run along the "fence" – Lebanese soldiers opened fire into the air. The Israelis, according to the Lebanese, did not shoot in the air. They shot at the Lebanese soldiers.

Result: five dead, because of a tree, for such is the way of the Middle East.

Oh Silvio


You have to admire his stamina.

The man will be 74 next month.

The picture above is of one of the ladies involved.

The equalities

It is hard to believe that the Chancellor's budget could be struck down by the courts but that appears to be the implication of St Theresa's letter. The Guardian reports:
Theresa May, the home secretary and equalities minister, warned the chancellor that cuts in the budget could widen inequality in Britain and ran a "real risk" of breaking the law, a letter leaked to the Guardian shows.

The letter was sent to George Osborne on 9 June, less than a fortnight before his emergency budget, and was copied to David Cameron.

May wrote "there are real risks" that people ranging from ethnic minorities to women, to the disabled and the old, would be "disproportionately affected".

...

May warns that government spending decisions face being struck down by the judiciary. "If there are no processes in place to show that equality issues have been taken into account in relation to particular decisions, there is a real risk of successful legal challenge by, for instance, recipients of public services, trades unions or other groups affected by these decisions."

Despite this letter, it would appear that Treasury completely and utterly ignored the advice when it came to the budget and - possibly - to the public spending review. As The Guardian reveals, the court cases are now in preparation.

This business of government: it becomes increasingly complicated ...

03 August 2010

The myth of the beer belly?

Much as I enjoy a pint or two of the foaming liquid and much as I respect CAMRA for saving Scotland from Tartan Special and Kestrel lager, I cannot really put any faith in the proposition advanced in this article in The Independent:

A huge real ale festival opens today with new research claiming that beer can help people lose weight - when drunk in moderation.

The Campaign for Real Ale (Camra) said a third of men and women wrongly believe that beer has more calories than other alcoholic drinks.

Swapping wine for beer for just one week would save as many calories as a half-hour jog, Camra claims.
But if slimmers wish to believe it, then who am I to discourage the poor souls?

02 August 2010

Public spending squeeze

This seems short-sighted, even mean-spirited. The FT reports:

Civil servants within the Treasury are to sit at smaller desks closer together in order to squeeze hundreds of workers from elsewhere in Whitehall into the building.

The attempt to sub-let part of 1 Horse Guards Road, just off St James’ Park, is the latest austerity measure by George Osborne as the coalition insists on hairshirt measures government-wide.

Sure, you can always squeeze a few extra bodies into any given space. But anyone who cares to visit the first or second floor of Victoria Quay at Leith will see the dispiriting result.

30 July 2010

Oh woe!

We may not have reached the end of July but that's Hibs' European campaign over for the season.

It's not fair. Every summer, we approach the new season full of joyous ambition and by autumn (or earlier) we experience the bitter taste of ashes. It's not even as though Slovenia, delightful country as it is, is one of the giants of European football.

Miseria!

Simples?

When a politician says that he intends to simplify matters, don't believe him. What you and I mean by simplification is an alien concept to the political classes. The Independent reports:

Mr Duncan Smith will suggest replacing the 51 benefits currently available to the unemployed, as well as income-related benefits for the low-paid, with a single benefit covering all people of working age. It would also incorporate the cash currently paid out under Gordon Brown's flagship tax credits scheme, which would effectively be abolished.

Payments would take into account claimants' circumstances, such as numbers of children and housing needs, and could be adjusted monthly using new computer software being developed by the Government.
In order to take account of the differing needs of those who qualify, that simple single benefit will be so complicated as to be unworkable, so that at least half of the beneficiaries will be badly let down by the system, being given less of a benefit than that to which they are entitled.

And doncha just love that phrase "using new computer software being developed by the Government"? This means that the software will not only be late in arriving but also that it will also cost five times more than the initial estimate and, crucially, that it will not work properly. Result: chaos all round.

Will they ever learn?

29 July 2010

Good news and bad news

The good

Our political masters have indicated that it will no longer be compulsory to retire at the age of 65.

The Bad

You may be obliged to work beyond the age of 65 by virtue of the the Government's plans to postpone the old age pension beyond 65.

28 July 2010

What's he up to ...


... or perhaps what is he on? Has going abroad gone to his head? First, he upsets France and Germany by accusing them of blocking Turkey's accession to the EU. He then goes on to upset Israel (admittedly a far from difficult task). And now he has put the boot in to Pakistan.

Is this Cameron's idea of diplomacy? He may well be correct in his criticisms (or at least in some of them) but is pandering to the Turks and the Indians the most effective means of getting the message across?

27 July 2010

In praise of subtitles

One of the reasons why I no longer frequent my local cinemas is that I find it difficult to follow the dialogue. Young people speak so quickly these days, particularly (but not exclusively) in the movies. Nevertheless, I do love a good flick - and it is therefore a welcome aid to comprehension that the vast majority of DVDs provide subtitles. You may suggest that in my dotage I am increasingly corned beef and I would not dissent unduly.

I have just finished watching The Road which, at least for me, would have been mystifying had it not been for the subtitles. Beautifully filmed, well acted and properly respectful of the novel. But, jeez, what a depressing film.

The DVD highlight of the summer has been Up in the Air, the best movie I have seen in years. Clooney should give up the coffee ads and concentrate on proper films.

Honorable mention for The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, provided you can tolerate the fact that it is in Swedish (with English subtitles)*. I enjoyed it enormously.


*You can watch it dubbed into English but this seems to me the worst of all possible options.

Envious? Well maybe just a little ...

Can't be bad, eh? You mess up, big-time, but end up at 53 years old with a million quid pay-off and a pension of £10,000 per week from your 55th birthday.

How do you spend £10,000 a week? Sure, you might manage it in week 1: as Clapton put it, take all your friends out for a mighty good time, drink bootleg liquor, champagne and wine. Or I suppose you spend an odd million or two on a fancy house - you can afford the mortgage after all. And then there's the Ferrari Testarossa and the holiday home in the West Indies.

But will you be happy?

To be honest, who cares ...

25 July 2010

How not to win friends and influence people

You might have thought that BP would, as far as possible, be seeking to keep its head down, particularly in the light of the suspicion (apparently well-founded) that the UK Government was prepared to release Mr al-Megrahi (or at least transfer him to Libya) in return for BP being given access to the Libyan oilfields. Not a chance: The Independent reports:

The tortuous saga of BP, the Gulf of Mexico, the Lockerbie bombing and an America which feels itself badly wronged took another turn yesterday when it emerged that the oil company is about to start drilling at an even greater depth in, of all places, Libyan waters.

And, as that information was being absorbed, there came an announcement that Jack Straw, the former justice secretary, had declined an invitation to attend the upcoming US Senate hearing into possible links between BP and the release last August of Abdelbaset al-Megrahi, who was convicted of the murder of 259 passengers on Pan Am Flight 103, and 11 Lockerbie residents. Megrahi, who was diagnosed with cancer, was put on a plane back to Tripoli after doctors said he had only three months to live.

The Senate Foreign Relations Committee is investigating allegations that the release, officially on compassionate grounds, was ordered in return for economic co-operation, including access to oil and gas fields. Tony Blair, former prime minister and "friend of Gaddafi", has also become embroiled in the affair.

No, BP announces its expansion into Libyan waters, thus waving a red rag to the Senate Foreign Relations Committee. Does BP not have PR advisers? Did nobody in the upper echelons think that it might be better to keep this under wraps for at least a couple of weeks, so that the proposals emerged in the dog-days of August when everyone that matters is on holiday?

At any rate, the episode lends succour to the proposition that the size of a company is in direct proportion to the stupidity of its management.

24 July 2010

Stress Tests

No need, honestly, I'm feeling fine. Not under any pressure at all.
The stress tests have been applied to the banks, idiot.
What stress can they be under? They just sit there, screw their customers and collect their bonuses as usual.
It's all to do with the EU Commission which wanted to demonstrate the splendid shape that the European banks are in.
So how do you detect stress in a bank? They don't have any blood pressure and you never see them snacking on valium.
Well it's partly a secret and it's probably too technical to explain but capital ratios are at the centre of it. Essentially, have the individual banks enough pennies tucked away to deal with any shortfall in the repayment of the loans they made earlier?
Enough, enough! You know this kind of thing makes my head hurt. So what was the result, anyway?
Of the 91 banks tested, seven failed. But the failures were Spanish, Greek and German tiddlers, so that's all right. The British big four passed with flying colours.
So everybody was happy, yes? Apart from the failures obviously.
Well, not really. Were the stress tests demanding enough? Or were they designed to ensure that the big boys passed, while sweeping out a few tiddlers in order to maintain a patina of credibility?
I'll ask the questions if you don't mind. So what happens now?
Not a lot really. The failures will have to improve their capital ratios. But the whole exercise will be forgotten when the next financial crisis occurs.
A bit of a waste of time, then?
You might say that - I could not possibly comment.

Do say: Well done, banking chaps and chapesses. You may now resume normal service, even if that includes not lending to businesses while paying yourselves handsome bonuses.

Don't say: Keep taking the tablets and try to relax more: take some time off, play a bit more golf and don't worry about the office.

22 July 2010

Not so funny?

Payback?

Remember how The Sun suddenly came out in support of the Tories during the Labour Party conference last year? Today, and doubtless entirely coincidentally, The Independent reports:

Plans to reserve more of the so-called sporting "crown jewels" for free-to-air broadcasting was [sic] shelved yesterday until at least 2013 by Hugh Robertson, the sports minister.

The decision means that the rights to show the next home Ashes cricket matches between England and Australia in 2013 will continue to be held by Sky, despite the recommendation of a review by David Davies, the former FA chief executive.

It also means that Scotland's qualifying matches for the European (football) championship will be absent from the terrestrial channels.

And so, in return for a headline or two, Her Majesty's Government has sold out the British sporting public to the dirty digger.

21 July 2010

Music of the week

It's been a good day ...

Mr 50%

Don't you admire a Minister who will happily sacrifice half of his department? The Guardian reports:

Up to one in two of the staff at the Department for Culture, Media and Sport are to be made redundant as part of the cuts programme submitted to the Treasury by the culture secretary, Jeremy Hunt.

Hunt has also proposed moving out of the well-appointed departmental headquarters in Cockspur Street, just off Trafalgar Square, with the remaining staff finding room in a different, existing departmental building.

The Treasury asks for 40% reduction illustrations; Hunt opts for 50%, on the spurious grounds that the pain he intends to inflict on the arts and culture establishment needs to be shared by his staff. There is a word for a man like that and it's not Jeremy.

20 July 2010

Quotes of the day

Sarah Palin makes it up:

"[Barack and Michelle Obama] have power in their words. They could refudiate what it is that this group is saying."

—On the NAACP charge of racism in the Tea Party movement, The Sean Hannity Show, Fox News, July 14, 2010

"Ground Zero Mosque supporters: doesn't it stab you in the heart, as it does ours throughout the heartland? Peaceful Muslims, pls refudiate."

—On plans to build an Islamic community center near Ground Zero, via Twitter, July 18, 2010

Why the fuss? On the (admittedly heroic) assumption that she meant "repudiate" or perhaps "refute", she got reasonably close ...

19 July 2010

At least Mrs Thatcher did not dissemble ...

So Mr C is to announce the implementation of his Big Society idea, involving the establishment of four pilot projects. The Independent reports:

Each will get an expert organiser and dedicated civil servants to ensure "people power" initiatives get off the ground and inspire a wider change, the Prime Minister will say.

...
"We have to turn Government completely on its head," he will suggest - so that it helped foster "communities with oomph", public sector workers with freedom to innovate and "a new culture of voluntarism, philanthropy, social action.
...

All of the projects have "one thing in common", Mr Cameron will say: "A firm commitment from this Government to help them realise their dreams."

Do you suppose that Mr C realises the irony in what he proposes? How do you square local initiative and "a new culture of voluntarism, philanthropy, social action" with a firm Government commitment, Government-appointed organisers and dedicated civil servants? And all those dreams - who, do you suppose, will decide which of them is realistic and attainable? I rather doubt that it will be the communities (with or without oomph).

I have no doubt that the pilots will be successful - that is why central government is taking a central role. So, good for those communities. But there are simply not the resources to roll out the programme to the rest of the country.

It's a con.

18 July 2010

Quote of the day

The Prime Minister (here) on foreign policy:
"[Britain] needs a realism about who we are, what we can achieve and what we need to do. Less grand diplomatic talk, a sort of gritty, commercial, business-like realism to British foreign policy."
Absolutely true. The problem is that the last thing the Foreign Office wants to do is become engaged in gritty, commercial, business-like realism. They believe in grand diplomacy. They didn't join the FCO to dirty their hands with such vulgar matters as trade.

16 July 2010

Transfer of the summer


Following his success at the World Cup, Paul is tempted in the direction of Madrid. The Guardian reports:

In what may prove to be the biggest transfer story this summer, negotiations have begun to bring Paul the psychic octopus to Madrid after he correctly predicted Spain's World Cup final victory.

Madrid's Zoo Aquarium says it is prepared to trump any other offer Germany's Oberhausen Sea Life Centre receives for Paul, certain that the world's most famous cephalopod will attract thousands of visitors.

Paul's agent said that, ever since he had been a little octopus, he had always wanted to be in a Spanish zoo. It wasn't the money, but the honour and the glory. Paul's WAG wondered about the quality of shopping in Madrid.

Quote of the day

Simon Hoggart, back to top form in The Guardian (here):
The chancellor, George Osborne, came to give evidence about his traditionalist, slash-and-burn budget to the Commons Treasury committee. This was like a traditionalist doctor appearing in front of the BMA in order to explain why leeches are the best way to heal most illnesses, and how skin rashes can be cured by a poultice made of toad skin and hazel blossom, gathered by virgins at midnight.
Elegant, witty, and making his critique rather more pointed than a thousand articles by learned economists.

15 July 2010

Music of the week

In praise of Eurosport

I am far from being a cycling fan but I have enjoyed Eurosport's coverage of the Tour de France. The principal commentators are Sean Kelly and David Harmon. As one might expect, Kelly is clearly immensely knowledgeable about the sport and, once one gets used to the "y'know"s and the "erms", contributes vastly by explaining what the riders are up to. Harmon, cheerfully ignorant of French pronunciation, and equally cheerful about some of his widely errant suppositions, jollies the show along with an indefatigable pleasure in the race. It can't be easy commentating for four or five hours per day for three weeks on the trot, but if you have the time to spare and have even a vague interest in bikes, these are the guys to keep you company.

Much better than ITV4 who seldom show more than a couple of hours per day.

They're grinding us down ...

Day by day, the impact of the cuts becomes clearer. This development, however, is something of a shocker. The Independent reports:
After decades during which governments of both parties spent billions on attracting foreign investment, the Business Secretary, Vince Cable, has declared that Britain can no longer afford to "splay out" grants and subsidies to attract companies to locate in the UK.

Mr Cable said: "Having very substantial amounts of money which we are splaying out in grants and subsidies to companies, we cannot do that. There is a budgetary problem which we inherited. The second reason is that it is actually very bad policy."

Instead, said Mr Cable, the coalition would concentrate on setting competitive business tax rates, cutting regulation, training workers and looking after the broader economy.

It is not entirely clear what Mr Cable means, and the website of the Department for Business offers little assistance in interpretation. But the whole point of those grants and subsidies to attract companies to locate in the UK was to steer the companies to locate in areas of economic disadvantage. The subsidies were available for Nissan to locate and expand in Sunderland - they were not available to companies seeking to locate in South-East England. Scotland in particular paid out many millions (not conspicuously successfully) to attract foreign direct investment, notably in the field of electronics.

But whether Mr Cable means to abandon entirely the system of regional development assistance remains open to question. If that is indeed his intention, then the regions may have something to say about it.

The mask slips for a moment

A hit, a palpable hit. So well done to Ms Harman for poking a gaping hole in that facade of pleasant omniscicnce which Cameron so often exhibits at PMQs.

She asked the question, plain and simple:
This week the Government published their White Paper on the national health service. They say that they will get rid of targets. Can the Prime Minister tell us whether patients will keep their guaranteed right to see a cancer specialist within two weeks of seeing their GP?
Source: here

Cameron, clearly unprepared, had to flannel:
As for the NHS, what we have decided is that we will keep targets only when they actually contribute to clinical outcomes. We all want to see a higher cancer survival rate. I am afraid that, after 13 years of Labour government, we have not the best cancer outcomes in Europe, and we want the best cancer outcomes. That means rapid treatment, yes, but it also means rapid follow-up, and it means people getting the radiotherapy, chemotherapy and drugs that they need. Those are all essential.
Our Harriet asked the question again. Cameron still flannelling:
For some people, two weeks is too long. That is the whole point. If a target contributes to good clinical outcomes, it stays; if it does not, it goes.
So Cameron has been trapped. Either he does not know the answer or he is not prepared to admit that the target will be dropped. Either way, a victory for Hattie.

The Guardian notes that, subsequently, an obsequious junior minister tries to clarify the position:
An hour after Cameron's comments in the Commons, the health minister Simon Burns said the cancer target would remain. "The decision on targets was taken on which ones were not clinically justified," he told Radio 4. "The cancer one was clinically justified and is being kept."
Not quite accurate, it appeared:
But a few hours later the prime minister's spokesman declined to say whether the cancer guarantee would be maintained. "These decisions are no longer for politicians, they are now for the NHS commissioning board. So whether or not there is a target on two weeks is a matter for the commissioning board of the NHS. At the moment it remains in place, but whether it remains in place in future is a decision for them."
So the Tories have chosen to devolve the decision on the cancer guarantee to a quango. Welcome to the new improved NHS?


Background Note

None of the above applies to Scotland where, thank goodness, the health service remains under the watchful control of Nicola and the apparatchiks of the Scottish Government.

14 July 2010

Hey, it's only money ...

Psst! Wanna be scared? The Independent does its best to give you the heebie-jeebies:

The true scale of Britain's national indebtedness was laid bare by the Office for National Statistics yesterday: almost £4 trillion, or £4,000bn*, about four times higher than previously acknowledged.

It quantifies the burden that will be placed on future generations, and it is the ONS's first attempt to draw together the "off-balance-sheet" liabilities that have been accumulated by the state. The figures imply a huge "intergenerational transfer" – broadly in favour of today's "baby boomer" generation at the expense of younger people and future generations.

The debt primarily consists of the cost of public sector and state pensions, and of payments promised to private contractors under private finance initiatives. It far exceeds any of the figures so far published for the national debt, the largest current estimate for which is £903bn. That is projected to rise to £1.3trn by 2015.

Horrifying, ain't it? But then it's only half the picture. There is no point in listing the nation's liabilities without comparing them with its assets. And, according to (yes) the Office for National Statistics (here), the value of the nation's assets amounts to some £7 trillion.

Now, if you or I had assets of say (to reduce it to comprehensible proportions) £70,000 compared with debts of £40,000, we would not necessarily think that we were in a bad place. Indeed, some of us have mortgage debts that amount to 70 or 80% of our total gross worth and it's not something over which to cry ourselves to sleep every night. So look on the bright side, chums: the country is not yet down the swannee.


* £4 trillion = £4,000,000,000,000

13 July 2010

This interweb thingy

I would be lost without the internet. I am an internet addict. From ordering groceries and airline tickets to carrying out my banking arrangements, I could not survive without it. But is this a step too far? The Telegraph reports:

Everyone of working age should be online by 2015, and all applications for school places and free school meals will be online under a new Government plan to get more people to use the internet.

Launching a plan to get the 10 million Britons who have never used the internet online, the Government's "digital champion", Martha Lane Fox claimed “the Government needs to think ‘internet first’ – by getting more people online, everyone wins.” She suggested that everyone applying for benefits should also be subject to “informal” tests on their computer skills.

It may not have occurred to Ms Fox that some of those 10 million would prefer to live their lives without getting online. And why not? Why should individuals be forcibly encouraged to engage in a practice that requires investment in equipment and time-consuming efforts to keep up-to-date, principally because it might be more convenient for the public authorities. Furthermore, a substantial proportion of those 10 million may be functionally illiterate - little chance that they will enjoy the benefits of surfing the worldwideweb.

No, it's the nanny state again, interfering in our lives. Have they nothing better to do than meddle?

09 July 2010

Music of the week

If you have not come across this song before now, then it's about time you did. The wonderful Lady Day:

Kicking the economy when it's down

Even The New York Times disapproves of Slasher Osborne's budget:

... the coalition has asked most government departments to slash spending by 25 percent to 40 percent over the next four years. Health spending will be spared, but capital spending on badly needed new hospitals and schools will not. More than half a million public-sector jobs are expected to be axed, including tens of thousands of police officers. The less well off, who depend on functioning public services, will suffer most.

No reputable economic theory justifies this bleeding. In fact, most mainstream economists have argued for delaying the most severe cuts until a more robust economic recovery has begun.

The coalition budget reflects Conservative Party ideology, which asserts that as the government withdraws money from the economy, private businesses and consumers will step in to replace it. That won’t happen if Britons see only hard times ahead.

Is this really what the libdems want?

08 July 2010

World Cup TV

Unanswerable questions:

1. Why do Clarence Seedorf and Jurgen Klinsmann speak better English than Alan Hansen and Alan Shearer?

2. Why does Clive Tyldesley insist on labelling the Dutch left back as Gee-oh when the guy's name is Giovanni (pronounced Joe-vanni)?

3. Why was Paul, the German psychic octopus, never interviewed, despite having a much better prediction record than the usual TV pundits?

4. What is the point of Kevin Keegan?

5. Is it necessary for Jonathan Pearce to raise the pitch of his voice to screaming point whenever a player approaches the opposition goal mouth?

I dread to think of how much they are paying this sorry crew ...

Online shopping

So I can now order my groceries at Amazon? The Independent reports:
Amazon's launch into the online groceries market – a sector where Tesco's share currently beats that of all its competitors combined – will be fascinating to watch. This is a company with the resources and the imagination to give Britain's biggest grocer a run for its money.
I don't think so. Check it out for yourself. The cheapest brand of sliced bread available from Amazon is a 100g loaf of Livwell White at £2.79, while the cheapest beer is a 500ml bottle of Breconshire Brewery Cribyn at £2.55. The only brand of corn flakes is Barkat (no, I'd never heard of them either) and, as for baked beans, well there are none.

Much as I admire Amazon in the book and DVD department (and the t-shirts are also good value), when it comes to food I'll stick to Tesco and Sainsbury's, ta much.

07 July 2010

Wee Georgie blots his copybook

A week ago, rather earlier than anticipated, the OBR was forced to produce its forecast of job losses as a result of public expenditure cuts, thus enabling the Prime Minister to put on a braver face than might otherwise have been the case. Furthermore, the OBR tended towards the heroic in the assumptions underlying the forecast.

Yesterday, Sir Alan Budd let it be known that he would not remain as OBR chief beyond the end of the month.

Coincidence? Maybe. But it still leaves boy George with a problem: where does he find a respected independent economist prepared to take on the job of leading an organisation which is totally reliant on Treasury economists to do the heavy lifting and whose credibility has already been compromised?

All a bit of a guddle. I wonder if George is regretting his panic of last week? Governing can be such a trial sometimes.

Quote of the day

From Simon Tisdall of The Guardian (here) on the decision to pull British forces out of Sangin in the Helmand valley and replace them with US troops:
Now the British are leaving Sangin, many will ask what it was all for, why they went there in the first place, and what, if anything, was achieved at the terrible cost of so many brave young men and women killed and maimed. Answers will be hard to find.
Replace the word 'Sangin' with 'Afghanistan' and the answers are equally hard to find.

05 July 2010

The smoking gun

If you read that story about Monsieur Blanc, the French minister who resigned after charging €12,000 worth of cigars to his department's budget, you will wonder how many cigars you get for that amount of money.

Not that many, is the answer. According to this website, you won't get much change from buying 20 boxes of 25 Romeo y Julieta Churchills (tubos of course). Worth every penny. But perhaps a litttle injudicious of M Blanc to charge it to his ministry.

01 July 2010

Music of the week

From 1977, Emmylou:

Praiseworthy but probably doomed

Yes, he means well. And I agree with the underlying sentiment. But - as ever - it's not that simple. The Guardian reports:

William Hague vowed today to increase Britain's influence in the European Union by boosting the numbers of UK nationals in the corridors of power at Brussels.

The foreign secretary accused the previous Labour government of allowing a "generation gap" to develop over its 13 years in power, by neglecting to ensure that enough British officials won key posts in EU institutions.

Numbers of British officials at director level in the European commission have fallen by a third since 2007, and numbers of UK posts by 205 overall, he said. Although it represents 12% of the EU population, the UK has just 1.8% of staff in entry-level positions at the commission.

In the good old days, national governments could parachute in their officials to the EU, usually but not exclusively by way of a cabinet post in the control of a Commissioner. But that procedure is increasingly frowned upon. Nowadays, commission officials are appointed by way of competitve examination. Among other requirements is a facility with at least one other EU language (which rather limits the field of UK aspirants). Thereafter, promotion is ostensibly on merit, although in practice Buggins' turn seems to be the guiding principle.

Accordingly, the scope for Mr Hague and the FCO to place influential UK officials into the Commission hierarchy is extremely limited. Sure, they can encourage bright young things to apply at entry level, but it will be twenty years before they reach positions of influence.

Some day, I will tell you of the extent of the encouragement I received from the UK civil service to go to and remain in the Commission. It was somewhat less than whole-hearted. But if the attitude is changing, great. Just don't count on it making a significant impact in the short-term.

The man who made BP what it is today

I see that Lord Browne is to bring his business experience to bear on the civil service.

What experience, I hear you ask. Plugging leaks, putting out fires, perhaps telling lies in court?

Don't be cynical. He is to bring business ethos to the work of government. Does that not fill your heart with a warm glow?