I'm a wee bit worried. Here I am, desperate to move up the celebrity ladder, but nobody seems to want to hack my phone. I mean, you're a nobody unless the News of the Screws is putting the bite on. Z-list celebrities are coming out of the woodwork, claiming that so-called journos want to listen in to their digital inanities. As for me, nothing, nada, zip ... Does nobody want to know about my illicit affairs or my doubtful financial wheeler-dealings?
Editor: Maybe it's because you don't have a mobile phone?
Oh bugger ...
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