Quote of the day

Even The Times cannot take seriously the notion that Jeremy Corbyn is an agent of a foreign power:

Agent Corn-on-the-Cob shook off the virtual snow from his boots, handed his ushanka to an aide and went up to the doorkeeper. “In Moscow, April is a cold month,” he whispered. “Yer wot?” the custodian replied. “My lighter needs more fuel,” the arrival tried. “Eh?” came the response. The agent sighed. “I’m here for PMQs.”

“Oh, go right in, Mr Corbyn,” the Commons official said. Then, as the leader of the opposition headed to the chamber, the doorkeeper muttered: “Every bloody week . . .”

The idea that Jeremy Corbyn was the Kim Philby of the 1980s is slightly absurd. If he belongs in a John le Carré novel it would be The Constant Gardener, though he doesn’t spend as much time on the allotment as he would like. Spectre — the Special Executive for Courgettes, Tomatoes, Radishes and Endives — is having to manage without him. He is the spy who came in from the cold frame.