Private Pike addresses the nation

From The Guardian (here):

The nation – no, the world – wanted to hear Britain’s defence minister make his first formal statement at a time of national crisis. “The Russians should go away and shut up,” he said. So yah, boo, sucks. Your mum. That was telling them. International diplomacy reduced to a catch-phrase on a 70s TV game show. Jim Bowen would be turning in his grave at not having come up with that one.

Inside the Kremlin, Vladimir Putin was thrown into a state of profound confusion. No one had ever talked to him like that before. At least, not since nursery school. Should he go away and then shut up? Or shut up first and then go away? Or both at the same time, getting steadily quieter as he went away? Decisions, decisions.

Stupid boy  ...