17 June 2011

Cynicism rules OK

The coalition's health policy is explained in The Guardian:
Clegg: I love it when we go outdoors together, Daddy. Where are we going?

Cameron: To have our photo taken sitting next to some poor bastard who can't get out of his hospital bed.

Clegg: That's so exciting! What shall I say to him, Daddy?

Cameron: That you love me very much, that I'm a very listening kind of Daddy and that you love my new NHS reforms.

Clegg: I do, I do! But I also loved the old ones that you and Andy tried to rush through last year. That's why I voted for them.

Cameron: I know you did, Cleggster and I appreciate that. But I've done a lot of listening since then and what I've heard is the public don't think I know what I'm doing which is why I'm going to do what the public wants . . .

Clegg: And what's that?

Cameron: Buggered if I know, Cleggster. I've no idea what's in the new bill, but as long as I keep saying we're creating a more streamlined, more bureaucratic, less market-driven, more competitive NHS in which patients have a right to see their GP at any time he or she isn't comparing tenders for healthcare provision, everything should be fine.

Clegg: You're so clever, Daddy.

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