18 November 2017

Music of the week

Not one of my favourite mistakes



Yes, I am a shareholder.  It looked a reasonable prospect at the time.  Government contracts, handsome dividends - what could go wrong?  Well, just about everything.  The Guardian reports:
Carillion, one of the construction companies working on the HS2 London to Birmingham rail line, is racing to refinance its business after issuing its third profit warning in five months and suffering a collapse in share price.
Shares in the company, which is at the heart of several major building projects in the UK, were suspended eight times on Friday after the shock update to the City that it would breach the terms on its existing lending at the end of the year.
The shares crashed 60% when the stock market opened on Friday – to their lowest ever levels – and closed down 48% at 21.5p. At this price, about 25p, the shares are barely a tenth of the 240p level seen at the start of 2017 and the value of the company is just £92.5m.
 Ach weel, you win some, you lose some.

Quote of the day

Vacuous, utterly vacuous.  The Maybot in full flow.  From The Guardian (here):
Leaving the summit in Gothenburg, Sweden, May told reporters she agreed that more needed to be done to advance the negotiations. “But we are clear and I am clear that what we need to do is move forwards together and that’s how we can ensure that we are going to get the best deal for the UK and for the EU,” the prime minister said.

   

This is not going to work

The consequences of Brexit for the Northern Ireland border have moved up the agenda.  The Independent reports:
Theresa May has been handed an ultimatum to guarantee no hard border on the island of Ireland by December if Britain wants to move to trade talks before the spring.
The EU and Ireland made clear on Friday that the issue of the border had joined the divorce bill as one of the two main problems where “much more progress” is needed to start talking about a transition period.
Following a meeting with the Prime Minister in Gothenburg, the European Council President Donald Tusk suggested British ministers must be joking if they believed it was the EU’s turn to make concessions in talks, attributing such suggestions to an “English sense of humour”.’
Irish Prime Minister Leo Varadkar said Ireland and the EU needed a promise in writing by December that there would be no hard border and suggested eurosceptics had not “thought all this through” in the years they had been pushing for the UK to leave the EU.
I do not see how this question can be resolved.  If the UK insists on leaving the single market and customs union, there would have to be some kind of controls on the Northern Irish border, a position which is now declared by the Irish Republic to be unacceptable.  If Northern Ireland were to remain by itself  in the single market, there would need to be border controls between it and the rest of the UK, a position which would be equally unacceptable to the British government (probably even if it were not dependent on the DUP for its continued survival).  The only other conceivable option would be for the Republic of Ireland to leave the EU along with the UK; and that is obviously a non-starter.

I cannot see an available fudge or compromise.  I don't know where we go from here, other than towards either a cliff-edge no-deal or the abandonment of Brexit altogether.

   .

17 November 2017

Quote of the day

The Times ponders the raison d'ĂȘtre of the Conservative Party:
The usual conservative view is risk-averse and frightened of grands projets by their sheer complexity and by the low capacity of the state to administer them. The true conservative, who is not a reactionary in thrall to the past, is also not a radical excited by a better tomorrow. He or she instead makes a fetish of the present. Better not to risk change for fear it will be worse than what we have. The caution and the complacency can be infuriating but it is a fool who sees no wisdom in the position.
Where are these conservatives today? Can you name a single one? Who is the person who holds the quintessentially conservative view, which is that the EU is a bit of a mess for which no affection can really be mustered but who thinks that leaving is really not worth the candle? The process of leaving, thinks the historical conservative, is just too difficult, too far beyond the capacity of the civil service to deliver, just far too much bother. To attempt the most complex administrative task that the British state has undertaken since the conduct of the Second World War is just a profoundly unconservative thing to do.
Wise words.

 

Pots and kettles

So David Davis has warned the EU not to put politics before prosperity.

That would be the David Davis who supported the British Government when it decided to call an EU referendum for domestic political reasons (mainly to dish UKIP), utterly heedless of its leaders' (Cameron and Osborne) stated opinion that it would severely damage the UK economy.

That would be the David Davis who is part of the British Government which, for political reasons,  has yet to clarify what kind of post-Brexit deal it wants and whose leaders (May, Johnson, Gove, Fox, Hammond, etc) are far more concerned about their place in the future of the Conservative Party than the future economic health of the country.

That would be the David Davis who is part of the British Government which has consistently ignored the warnings of business organisations and trades unions about the severe economic consequences of the absence of an early settlement on transitional arrangements for Brexit.  Because to do otherwise would cause political turmoil on Tory backbenches.

 

16 November 2017

Quote of the day

The Cabinet appear to have the intellectual capacity of primary schoolchildren.  The Times reports:
Michael Gove faces a backlash from senior Tories who have accused him of using cabinet meetings to “audition” to be the next chancellor.
The environment secretary has angered cabinet colleagues by straying beyond his brief in what is regarded as an attempt to persuade the prime minister to give him Philip Hammond’s job.
...
At the most recent meeting, on Tuesday, Mr Gove again made a point of using “lots of long, economicky words”, according to two people present.
Oh my!  "Long economicky words".  Whatever next?

   

15 November 2017

Getting cynical in my old age.

I have no doubt that Ms Hodge's request will be granted, in that the Chancellor will indeed address the issue of tax avoidance in his budget:
The senior Labour MP Margaret Hodge has called on Philip Hammond to use his budget to deal with tax avoidance by the rich and powerful “on an industrial scale” as exposed by the Paradise Papers and other leaks from tax havens.
The former chair of the Commons public accounts watchdog said tax avoidance had become too widespread among the wealthy and called on the chancellor to legislate to force tax transparency on UK crown dependencies.
“The actions and the culture of powerful large corporations and of the wealthiest in our society as revealed in the Paradise Papers constitute a national and international disgrace,” she said. 
“What we have learned is that tax avoidance is not just a trivial irritant practised by a small number of greedy individuals and global corporations. It is the widely accepted behaviour of too many of those who are rich and influential.
After all, successive chancellors - in every budget I can remember - have claimed that they will deal with excessive tax avoidance.  The problem is that none of their efforts ever seem to bear serious fruit.  I do not expect it to be any different this time around.

Especially because this is the government that last week sought to water down EU efforts to crack down on corporate tax havens.

 

14 November 2017

Confused? You will be ...

David Davis has announced to Parliament that there will be a meaningful vote on the final Brexit deal:
As Davis is also the kinda man who is more than capable of confusing even himself with one of his statements. Several MPs wanted clarity on just how meaningful a meaningful vote would be. Dopey David started to get a bit narked. Why were people so unwilling to take him at his word. He had said there would be a meaningful vote and there would be a meaningful vote. End of.
At this point, several Brexiteers started having palpitations. But we would still be leaving the EU on 29 March 2019 regardless, they enquired breathlessly. “Oh yes,” said Dopey David. While it was the government’s principal aim to allow parliament to have a meaningful vote on the final deal, it would at worst be a “take it or leave it” vote and at best take place long after we had left the EU.
So there was nothing for the Eurosceptics to worry about. Once he had failed to reach an agreement – an inevitability given that Davis doesn’t even know what he can agree to himself – we could crash out of the EU with no deal just as they hoped. Sure parliament could have a nice chat about the wreckage afterwards, but in all probability the only meaningful vote it would be getting was a non-meaningful one.
   

11 November 2017

Are the Brexit negotiations making progress?

Don't count your chickens.  The Guardian reports:
It’s all starting to get a bit embarrassing. In the press conferences following the early rounds of negotiations, Michel Barnier used to make a point of making most of his remarks in English to make things easier for David Davis. But at the sixth time of asking he’s clearly decided there isn’t any language that Davis properly understands, so he might as well suit himself and speak in his native French.
...
Questions from the media only underlined how little progress had been made. Was it true there was no chance of the European council agreeing to move the talks on to the next stage unless Britain put a whole load more cash on the table within the next two weeks, a German reporter asked. Barnier paused. There was a time when he might have been inclined to dodge that question to give the Brits a bit of slack, but now he was right out of patience. Davis would just have to suck it up. “Je pense que oui,” he said. (“I think so.”)
Even Dopey Dave understood that. There were just two weeks to try to save Brexit. He looked around for help, before it dawned on him that he was the person on whom the country was counting. He mumbled something about being willing and able, while sounding anything but. His expression was of a man who had only just realised he was completely out of his depth. Defeat oozed out of every pore.
...
“We’re making progress,” Davis insisted as he was led away by his childminder. One day he would say it and it might be true. But not today. Or probably any time soon.
 

09 November 2017

Up in the skies

When life gives you a lemon, best ask for a gin and tonic.  The Guardian reports:
36,000 feet above Egypt on flight KQ100 to London, Priti Vacant fidgeted anxiously in her seat. She wasn’t used to being downgraded to Premium Economy and hadn’t fancied any of the inflight movies. Apocalypse Now or Falling Down somehow didn’t appeal.
Besides, it just wasn’t fair. There she had been, just minding her business in a Golan Heights water park with her family, when who should be on the next sunbed than Benjamin Netanyahu? It would have been much too rude not to talk to him and one thing had just led to another and before she knew it she was having meetings with 12 of his mates. As you do.
It had been no big deal. So she hadn’t really seen the need to tell anyone about her playdates with Bibi. Besides, it all seemed such a long time ago now and everything had become a bit of a blur. If only Bibi hadn’t brought this all up at his meeting with Theresa the week before, then no one would have been any the wiser.
Vacant asked for a gin and tonic to calm the nerves and handed over her departmental credit card to pay. “I’m afraid it appears to have been blocked,” said the steward. “Do you have any cash?”
Sic transit gloria Priti ...

   

08 November 2017

"When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions."

The government is falling apart.  The Times reports:
A once dangerous force is in retreat, losing followers and no longer the threat it was. Boris Johnson came to parliament to deliver two statements: one about progress in slowly destroying Daesh and the other on the parlous state of his own career.
Last week the foreign secretary wrongly told a committee of MPs that Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe, a British mother, may have been training journalists in Iran when she was arrested last year. The Iranian courts thought this enough to try to double her five-year sentence.
“I accept that my remarks could have been clearer,” he said carefully. Or maybe just different. Or even factually correct?
...
Mr Johnson had at least turned up. Earlier Priti Patel missed a question about her holiday jaunt where she just happened to bump into the Israeli PM and others without telling Theresa May. Sadly Ms Patel was jetting off again, this time to Africa (that’s what she’s told No 10) and she was “in the air”. Much like her future as a cabinet minister.
A rabble of incompetent clowns.



07 November 2017

06 November 2017

Did you think they were noble?

So Her Maj has hidden millions in offshore tax havens.  Doesn't everyone?

Just because they're royalty does not mean that they are less avaricious than than the average fatcat sleazebag billionaire.

   




05 November 2017

Put not your trust in smartphones


The Independent explains:
Now think about your iPhone. It knows who you are. It knows where you are. It knows how many steps you have taken that day, or any day. It knows who you have spoken with and the sites you have visited. It may know how much you paid for your lunch. True, any smartphone with the right apps knows all this and more. But the iPhone X knows something else: It knows with great precision exactly what you look like, for that is how you can unlock it.
Evil things ...

Me, I'm still getting to grips with an ordinary bog-standard mobile phone.  Basically, luddite.

   

04 November 2017

Sexual harassment

This is becoming has become serious.  The Times reports:
Many Tory figures fear that there could be more departures. A former senior minister described the situation as desperate, saying: “I was told this morning that there are now seven members of the cabinet considering their position.”
Wait until the Sundays get a hold of it ...

   

02 November 2017

The Blue Brazil don't usually make the headlines

The teuchters are unhappy



The Guardian reports:
“You’d struggle to find anyone in the Highlands who is anti-tourist,” says the SNP MSP for Skye, Lochaber and Badenoch, Kate Forbes, “but some people have been pushed to the brink.” Forbes adds succinctly: “There is perfectly legitimate nimbyism going on when someone is doing the toilet in your garden!”
Locals and politicians agree that the summer of 2017 saw the exponential growth in tourist numbers reach a tipping point. Across the Highlands, this year’s peak season brought reports of motorhome waste dumped by the roadside in the Western Isles, police advising visitors to Skye to book overnight accommodation in advance, and warnings of an increase in accidents along the newly launched North Coast 500 route as unfamiliar drivers struggled to negotiate narrow single track roads.
Ever increasing visitor numbers caused intolerable strain on parking, toilets, wifi, phone reception, public transport and wet weather facilities, according to a report from Highland council.
They complain when there are too many tourists; they complain when there are too few.  They better avoid Edinburgh, where the town is choked with tourists all year round.




PMQs

The Independent thinks that the government has become distracted:
The zombies arrived a day late for Halloween. All across the front bench and beyond, the undead sat. Some had their arms folded, some let them hang by their sides, as their eyes stared lifelessly at an unfixed mark in the middle distance.
Words reverberated around their ears. Dennis Skinner jabbed his finger in their direction, but real life wasn’t troubling the world inside their skulls. There were traumas going on in there. Public shame. Online ridicule. Thermonuclear rows at home, no doubt.
Yesterday morning Mr and Ms A, B and C had been the member for X, Y and Z. Now they knew they were the “handsy” one, the “very inappropriate” one. The one who’d had “sexual relations.” The one who’d “fornicated.”
At least it takes their minds off Brexit ...


   

01 November 2017

Quote of the day

Garrison Keillor on Trump (here):
He is so over. Totally irrelevant, exhausted, flamed out. The sleepytime eyes and la-di-da hair and the tweet-tweet-tweet say it all. Real men don't tweet. Ask anybody. We bark, we protest, we thunder, condemn, denounce, we give 'em hell, sometimes we post. Wimps tweet. And now the perps are going to start walking and talking. And the fat lady is waiting in the wings.

   

31 October 2017

All the President's Men


Those of you old enough will remember the great movie where Robert Redford and Dustin Hoffman gradually uncovered the mis-doings of President Nixon.  Trump-Russia provides similar material:
The special investigation into Russian election meddling closed in dramatically on Donald Trump on Monday, as news broke that a former foreign policy adviser pleaded guilty to perjury over his contacts with Russians linked to the Kremlin, and the president’s former campaign manager and another aide faced charges of money laundering.
In a day of rapid and surprising developments in Washington, George Papadopolous, the former foreign policy adviser, was revealed to have pleaded guilty earlier this month to lying to FBI investigators over his contacts last year with two people with apparently close ties to the Russian government. One was an unnamed professor – identified by the Washington Post as Joseph Mifsud – who offered “dirt” on Hillary Clinton. Another was a woman who portrayed herself as “Putin’s niece”.
Meanwhile, in a federal courthouse in central Washington, Trump’s former campaign manager, Paul Manafort, and a business associate, Rick Gates, pleaded not guilty to an indictment for money laundering, tax evasion, failure to register as agents for foreign interests and conspiracy to defraud the US government.
A federal judge ordered Manafort and Gates to be confined at home and set bail at $10m for Manafort and $5m for Gates.
Depending upon how things pan out, there is probably too much content for a straightforward movie.  I envisage at least one series, provisonally entitled "The West Wing Gone Wrong" or "The Game of Presidents" or "The House of Fake Cards".

 

 

27 October 2017

Espana

And so the situation in Spain and Catalunya becomes ever more worrying.

I cannot help feeling that this progressive escalation might have been avoided if both parties had been willing to talk more.  Concessions on either side might have eased the position.  A little more devolution, a postponement of moves towards independence.  Instead, Madrid and Barcelona have driven themselves into corners with little or no room to back down.

I think of Marco, my erstwhile Catalan colleague in Brussels, who - like most Catalans - has a dual loyalty to cope with and who will be worried about friends and family back home.

Meanwhile, the EU (and the UK) appear to take sides with Madrid.  I appreciate the diplomatic and constitutional reasons why this has to be so.  But I can only hope that behind the scenes they are pressurising both sides to step back from confrontation.

 

25 October 2017

Preparing for a no-deal Brexit

It is impending chaos.  The Guardian reports:
The tax authorities will need up to £450m in extra funding and up to 5,000 extra staff to deal with the impact of Britain leaving the European Union without a deal, MPs have been warned.
Jon Thompson, the senior civil servant in HM Revenue and Customs (HMRC), also told the public accounts committee that he could not guarantee that a new customs system would be ready for Brexit in March 2019.
Get ready for gridlock at the ports.  Because neither the extra staff, nor the extra funding, nor the new customs computer system, is likely to be forthcoming in the next 18 months ...

Quote of the day

Jeremy Corbyn at PMQs (here):
The Government do not really know whether they are coming or going. The Conservative party and the Government say they have full confidence in universal credit, but will not vote for it. They say they will end the NHS pay cap, but will not allocate any money to pay for it. The Communities Secretary backs £50 billion of borrowing for housing, but the Chancellor says it is not policy. The Brexit Secretary says they are planning for a no-deal Brexit. The Chancellor says they are not.
...

Isn’t it the case that this Government are weak, incompetent and divided, and unable to take the essential decisions necessary for the good of the people of this country?
 

If she carries on nodding like that, her head might fall off ...

24 October 2017

Not exactly a vote of confidence

Big Angie comes down on the side of sisterhood.  The Times reports:
Angela Merkel is “furious” over leaks from private Brexit talks amid fears that further hostility from Brussels may topple Theresa May, The Times has been told.
The German chancellor expressed anger at reported leaks from a dinner last week between Mrs May and Jean-Claude Juncker, president of the European Commission, it is understood. A German newspaper suggested on Sunday that the prime minister “begged” for help on Brexit, seeming “anxious, despondent and discouraged”. The article said that the meeting last Monday was like hearing “cries for help”.
Mrs Merkel is thought to be frustrated by the Tories’ perceived refusal to offer more detail on Brexit. But she is concerned above all that talks will collapse.
Doesn't say much for Mrs May's reputation or influence in European circles.

 

23 October 2017

Shocking stuff

Oh dear, the BBC has upset bourgeois sentimentalities, again.  The Guardian reports:
The BBC’s new primetime drama, Gunpowder, was described as unnecessarily gruesome and brutal over graphic scenes of violence, which aired minutes after the watershed on Saturday night.
The three-part series chronicles the plot to blow up the House of Lords in 1605, with Game of Thrones star Kit Harington playing his ancestor Robert Catesby, the mastermind behind the plot.
The opening episode contained close-up scenes of a young priest being hung, drawn and quartered and a woman stripped naked before being crushed to death by a stone slab, prompting complaints from viewers.
I have to agree that some of the footage was unnecessarily gruesome, adding little to the development of the plot.  I was rather more shocked by the shoddy acting.  Is it unreasonable to expect Harington to deploy more than three facial expressions - angry, sad and befuddled appear to be the limit of his thespian range.  And at an alleged mere 5 ft 8 inches, he is on the short side for the part.

 

21 October 2017

Mrs May goes to Brussels


As one flowerpot said to another, it's not getting any easier.  The Guardian reports:
As always when in trouble, she began to talk pure Maybot.
“I have been clear that I have said what I have said,” she said. She would be thinking about the financial commitments at such a time when thinking about financial commitments was necessary.
If the Brexit secretary was talking up a no deal scenario, shouldn’t businesses be seriously preparing for one also? No. She had been very clear that she was aiming for a good deal that might turn out to be no deal. It was too early to say.
When she went through the financial commitments line by line was it possible the UK would end up paying £60bn? “I have been very clear about the process of going through the process line by line,” she muttered. English was now not even her second language.

20 October 2017

Her jaiket's on a shoogly peg

It did not go well.  The Guardian reports:
Theresa May pleaded with EU leaders over dinner in Brussels to help her strike a Brexit deal that she can defend to voters back home, admitting talks had got off to a bad start over the summer.
The prime minister made the appeal over dinner with 27 other EU leaders but did not offer any fresh financial concessions to help break the deadlock in talks, which have been stuck on the issue of Britain’s divorce bill for months.
Speaking on Thursday night, the prime minister said both sides needed an “outcome that we can stand behind and defend to our people”, hinting at the political difficulty she would have in selling a deal that involves handing over a large sum to the EU.
I rather doubt if Mrs May gives a toss for the voters back home; her only concern is her unhappy backbenchers and her own office as prime minister.  If she gave two hoots for the voters, she would come to a deal, and quickly.

 

16 October 2017

Two men in a boat


Nice to see that Boris wears a suit and tie to go boating.

   

Panic stations?

Is there any point in Mrs May's last-minute dash to Brussels to meet Juncker and Barnier?  Mrs May and her colleagues do not appear to have an agreed position on:

  1.  the amount they are willing to pay as the divorce bill;
  2.  how to achieve a satisfactory outcome on the Northern Ireland border question;
  3.  what residency rights they are prepared to grant EU citizens remaining in the UK;
  4.  the length of a transition period after 2019 and the extent of ECJ supervision during that period (and, arguably, the need for a transitional period at all); and
  5. what kind of trading relationship the UK should have with the EU after Brexit.

Nor can they be sure that any answers on any of these issues will be acceptable to the House of Commons.

So what is Mrs May going to do in Brussels?  Juncker and Barnier are constrained by their terms of reference which prohibit any advance on trade negotiations until sufficient progress has been made on the first three points listed above.  And I fail to see how May and Davis can offer any solutions on those points.

           

13 October 2017

Sound advice



I rather doubt if  'Arry is to be relied upon for financial advice.  The Guardian reports:
The trouble with these cryptocurrencies is that expert opinion is so divided. In the sceptical camp, you have the likes of Kenneth Rogoff, the former chief economist of the International Monetary Fund; Jamie Dimon, the chief executive of one of the world’s largest banks, JP Morgan; and our own Financial Conduct Authority. In the other camp, there’s Harry Redknapp.
Yes, the football manager who recently departed Birmingham City is the latest celebrity to join the craze. “Proper excited about Mobile Cryptocurrency! I’m in, get involved!” tweeted Redknapp in support of Electroneum, which bills itself as “the first British cryptocurrency.”
Redknapp is free to speculate as he wishes, but the advice here remains the same: if you find yourself tempted to have a flutter on a cryptocurrency, lie down until the feeling goes away.

12 October 2017

The importance of planning and preparation

The Daily Record says it all:



   

Fiddling while Rome burns?

This appears to be a fruitless argument.  The Independent reports:
A new Brexit faultline opened up in the Conservative party after Theresa May appeared to slap down Chancellor Philip Hammond over how much the Government will spend preparing for a ‘no deal’ Brexit.
The Prime Minister said she has now set aside £250m to help prepare for Brexit, including a no deal scenario, with aides saying she would spend “whatever necessary”.
But earlier on Wednesday, Mr Hammond signalled he wanted to wait until “the last point” before authorising spending on ‘no deal’ preparations and appeared unwilling to discuss further funds.
There are now less than 18 months until Brexit day.  This is not enough time to make satisfactory preparations for a no-deal Brexit.  Here are three examples:
  1. The need for vast additional customs control facilities at Dover (and elsewhere).  The government cannot simply tarmac a few fields and call them lorry parks, nor erect a few portakabins and call them customs offices.  It would need to secure ownership (or at least lesseeship) of the land required, to deal with any planning considerations, to draw up specifications of the facilities needed and put them out to tender..
  2. The need for a huge increase in customs and immigration staff.  Where would all these people come from?  How would they be recruited and trained?  The government departments and agencies concerned are already under severe staffing pressures.
  3. The need to establish new and extended data processing systems, for example to record and process import duties, agricultural subsidies, immigration data.  And the government’s record with new computer systems is considerably less than inspiring.
In these circumstances, argumentation about when and how much money should be allocated to preparations for a no-deal Brexit would seem somewhat besides the point.

 

11 October 2017

Bow down before the genius


Look, the man is a second Einstein.  The BBC reports:
US President Donald Trump has challenged his Secretary of State, Rex Tillerson, to an IQ test, in the latest sign of discord between the two.
He made the remark in a magazine interview when asked about reports that Mr Tillerson had called him a moron.
"I think it's fake news," Mr Trump told Forbes, "but if he did that, I guess we'll have to compare IQ tests. And I can tell you who is going to win."
No, it's not simply a case of mine is bigger than yours - that would be childish.  But from time to time Secretaries of State need to be put in their (subservient) place.

     

10 October 2017

NSFW

Looking good

Seems fair enough:

World Rugby ranking
1. New Zealand - 95.52
2. England - 90.14
3. Australia - 85.59
4. Ireland - 85.39
5. South Africa - 85.03
6. Scotland - 82.47
7. Wales - 81.73
8. France - 79.63
9. Fiji - 79.48
10. Argentina - 76.93

But I would not put money on Scotland beating France or Fiji beating Argentina. 

    

Mud-like clarity

Mrs May's statement to the Commons on Brexit inspires The Guardian to philosophical musing:
“I have been clear,” she began. A sentence that invariably indicates she is about to activate the Maybot. Sure enough, what followed was a statement whose only real coherence was its incoherence. The lack of progress in the EU negotiations was a sign of just how much progress had been made. In fact, things were going so well she was now planning for no deal being reached. This was the new dynamic inertia in operation.
Some goals would be the same and some would be different. We would continue to love EU citizens apart from the ones we wanted to be a bit beastly to. Everything would be exactly the same apart from the things that would be a bit different.
“We are in an unprecedented position,” she whirred, her irony bypass intact. An unprecedentedly bad position. And one she was determined to make worse. Because what the EU had to realise was that even though it was adamant the ball was in our court, what they had failed to notice was that it was in fact in theirs. Brexit negotiations had come down to Schrodinger’s Ball. Both there and not there.
We are not really getting anywhere in the negotiations.  By accident or design?  And the clock is ticking ....

   

09 October 2017

"Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies"



She may think that she has the full support of her cabinet.  Me, I couldn't possibly comment ...

 

The not so invisible border

The Irish customs authorities are beginning to understand the complexities of the post-Brexit customs barriers between Northern Ireland and the Irish Republic.  The Guardian reports:

The ORC report says 13,000 commercial vehicles cross the Irish border with freight ranging from meat and dairy to Guinness, which travels from Dublin to Belfast for bottling and back to Dublin for export to the UK.
“Once negotiations are completed … the UK will become a third country for customs purposes and the associated formalities will become unavoidable,” it says. “While this will affect all member states, the effect will be more profound on Ireland as the only EU country to have a land border with the UK.”
It says customs checks will “have a negative impact on trade flows and delay the release of goods”.
“As all of these goods will be subject to the customs import procedure in the post-Brexit era, the administrative and fiscal burden on the traders involved cannot be underestimated,” the report says.
Despite claims that electronic checks could prove a solution, the ORC says this is unrealistic as some goods, such as animals and animal feed, will have to be checked under EU law.
Automatic number plate recognition (ANPR) will not be enough, it says. “Regardless of any efficiency arising from an ANPR system, the inevitability of certain consignments being routed other than green and goods or documents having to be examined would still require investment in suitable facilities at all designated crossing points.
“Customs cannot permit the release into free circulation of goods or animals not already cleared by the relevant co-located border inspection post.”
Cargo will have to be fully inspected post-Brexit, and goods will not be released “until all customs formalities have been completed”, the report says.
Goods will be deemed to be in temporary storage once they arrive for customs checks. “In order to end temporary storage, the goods must be placed under a customs procedure or re-exported,” the report says.
It would be nice if the British authorities were equally realistic, instead of just hoping aimlessly for the best.

   

07 October 2017

Music of the week

Bit of a problem ...

How goes the preparation for the Brexit negotiations?  Not terribly well, according to The Times:

A Whitehall source said: “Downing Street is like the Marie Celeste. You’ve got a number of good civil servants trying to make this work but there is no political direction at the moment.”
Mrs May and her ministers have also been accused of being overoptimistic about Brexit talks over the next 12 weeks. A senior figure said: “We are in a monumental mess as a government. Massive choices need to be made but the Whitehall machine can’t begin preparing for negotiations on Brexit until cabinet ministers have decided what to do. At the moment the chances of success are slim. Ministers are being panglossian about the challenges, not wanting to get into the details, and assume something will come along and it will be fine. This could not be more serious.”

The lunatics are in charge of the asylum.

   

05 October 2017

Time to put her feet up?

Mocked, pitied, humiliated.  Why does Theresa May keep going as Prime Minister?  She surely cannot be enjoying life - at least not since the general election.  She is over 60.  Who needs the hassle of being the PM?

She has a house in Berkshire and a home in London.  She could retire on an annual pension of over £100K (as ex-Prime Minister and MP) and her husband as a City bigwig is presumably equally well catered for.  She would be entitled to a place in the Lords, if she wanted to continue dabbling in politics.

After yesterday's shambles at the Party Conference, she must be tempted to chuck it in.  And who would blame her?

 

Quote of the day

From The Guardian (here):
Theresa stared desperately at the lectern. She still had half of her speech to get through. What to do? The panic in her eyes suggested her first instinct was to make a dash for the exit. To wrap the whole thing up with a quick: “You know what? This isn’t working, is it? You’d rather be anywhere but here, I’d rather be anywhere but here, so why don’t we just cut our losses?”
But then she caught sight of the ambition reflected in the eyes of several members of the cabinet who were sitting in the second row and carried on. To piss them off, if nothing else.
Still though the words would barely come out. In the battle between Theresa and the frog in her throat, the frog was winning hands down. She tried another “The British Dream that. Is what I am in. Politics for” – but the frog just started laughing at her. Everyone else was just dying a bit inside. Along with her.
For a while the frog did give her a bit of a respite and she made a mad dash for the finishing line. But even though she was now speaking no one was really listening. They were just willing it all to end. For her to be put out of her misery.
As The Donald would say, Sad ....

 

04 October 2017

Embarrassing

Theresa fights back?


Not very convincingly.  The Independent reports:
Theresa May will try to draw a line under weeks of turmoil by telling squabbling cabinet ministers to stop worrying about their own “job security” and focus on the national interest.
Ms May will tell her party she will not “hide from a challenge” and demand that after a lengthy period of soul-searching following the election that ministers “shape up”.
As the Sermon on the Mount has it, "why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?" For did the Maybot not hide from the challenge of a leaders' debate during the recent general election? And did she not waste public money in protecting her own job security by making a deal with the DUP - was that in the national interest?


   

03 October 2017

Spanish practices

Should there be a read-across from Catalonia to Scotland?  Alex Massie in The Times thinks not.  For if we map the two together:
That means that certain rules must be observed. If you are Yes in Scotland you must be Si in Catalonia and that in turn means that if you’re No in Scotland you must have at least an inkling of sympathy for Madrid’s response to its Barcelona provocation.
Allow me to tell you a secret: you don’t have to play this game. The world is a complicated place and there is no great shame in admitting as much. Nor is there any disgrace in acknowledging that more than one thing may be true at a time. So the Spanish government’s iron-fisted response to its Catalan problem has actually been ham-fisted, but so too has the Catalan government’s own independence manoeuvrings. If Madrid has dirtier hands than Barcelona, that doesn’t mean that Barcelona’s hands are spotlessly clean. And those of us who live in Scotland have no need to pick sides in a fight that is not, in the end, much of our business.
On the other hand, do we just stand by and fail to condemn the brutality of the Guardia Civil in its dealings with ordinary European citizens?  Does that not mean taking sides?

 

   

02 October 2017

From Marr to Manchester

The Tory Party Conference gets off to a somnolent start.  The Guardian reports:
Theresa May was sat in the second row, her mouth locked in a frozen rictus smile, slowly dying inside. This wasn’t at all the birthday party she had planned. She’d always known the conference was never going to be much of a laugh, but she hadn’t expected the atmosphere to be quite this bad. Nor had her own performance on the Andrew Marr show done anything to raise anyone’s spirits. Apart from Boris Johnson’s.
Would she like to apologise to the Tory party for screwing up the election? Marr asked. “Let me be clear,” she babbled nervously, frantically trying to make her lips synchronise with the computer glitch that had switched her voice to fast forward. She was clear that she was focused on the business of government and that even though the election hadn’t gone as brilliantly as she had hoped it had still gone a lot more brilliantly than she had hoped.
The Maybot was up and running. Labour would cause a run on the pound, she said. “What’s happened to the pound on your watch?” Marr said drily. May looked bewildered. “It fluctuates,” she said eventually. As in downwards. She also appeared amazed at the possibility that inflations rises could be anything to do with her. Nor was there anything wrong with universal credit. So what if people weren’t getting their benefits for more than six weeks? Surely it was worth a few people dying for such a good cause.
There was a pause while a video clip of the prime minister insisting “Nothing has changed” during the election campaign was played. The Maybot nodded in approval. Nothing had changed. She was still hopelessly out of her depth, limited to mouthing mindless slogans that everyone but her knew to be untrue. The Florence speech had been a magnificent success and everyone was right behind her. Many of them armed with a knife. She had provided certainty. The certainty of uncertainty.
How long can this go on?

             

30 September 2017

Quote of the day

From Matthew Parris, former Tory MP (here):
This Conservative government is finished. Over. Toast. Dead meat. Broken. Sunk. Wrecked . . . all the words we use in place of a word we don’t. They can do what they like, think what they like, announce what they like, promise what they like but it’s useless now, it’s all too late.
On the morning after the last general election George Osborne called Theresa May a dead woman walking. If anything he understated. Her personal political death occurred on the pronouncement of the exit poll on election day. Reanimated the following morning, she’s now a zombie prime minister leading a zombie cabinet in a zombie party gathering in Manchester for a conference of the walking dead. Whatever these zombies’ message may sound like within the security zone, from outside we will only see mouths moving without sound or meaning. Their leader is done for and their credibility is shot.
     

Copycat


The Guardian reports:
Ukip’s attempt to rebrand itself for the post-Brexit era experienced an early hiccup on Friday after a new party logo bearing a lion’s head prompted reports the Premier League was investigating whether it was too similar to its emblem.
The logo replaces the longstanding yellow and purple pound symbol, and was chosen by party members at Ukip’s annual conference in Torquay.
Its unveiling brought immediate comparisons with the Premier League’s logo, which also depicts a lion’s head.
The league said it had no immediate comment, but it is understood its internal legal team was aware of the issue and was looking into any potential breach of copyright.
As a logo, it would seem more appropriate for that unfortunate Welsh rugby player who tried to pat a lion on its head ...
But it provides me with an excuse for posting this:

    

Such a polite, sensitive, diplomatic chap


Boris puts his size 10s in it once again.  The Guardian reports:
The foreign secretary has been accused of “incredible insensitivity” after it emerged he recited part of a colonial-era Rudyard Kipling poem in front of local dignitaries while on an official visit to Myanmar in January.
Boris Johnson was inside the Shwedagon Pagoda, the most sacred Buddhist site in the capital Yangon, when he started uttering the opening verse to The Road to Mandalay, including the line: “The temple bells they say/ Come you back you English soldier.”
Kipling’s poem captures the nostalgia of a retired serviceman looking back on his colonial service and a Burmese girl he kissed. Britain colonised Myanmar from 1824 to 1948 and fought three wars in the 19th century, suppressing widespread resistance.
Johnson’s impromptu recital was so embarrassing that the UK ambassador to Myanmar, Andrew Patrick, was forced to stop him. The incident was captured by a film crew for Channel 4 and will form part of a documentary to be broadcast on Sunday about the fitness of the MP for Uxbridge and South Ruislip to become prime minister.
The previously unbroadcast footage shows the diplomat managing to halt Johnson before he could get to the line about a “Bloomin’ idol made o’ mud/ Wot they called the Great Gawd Budd” – a reference to the Buddha.
Fit to be Prime Minister?  You're 'avin' a laff!