Gas oven rock (and pop)

For those who like this kind of thing, the top 25 most miserable songs. Some extracts:

"You Don't Bring Me Flowers is the most egregious example of middle-of-the-road music, so named because if you drive in the middle of the road, you'll eventually die in a head-on collision."

"The River makes one wish Springsteen would write a song about getting plastered on Cristal and driving a Bentley into a swimming pool."

"Clocking in at over seven minutes, Total Eclipse is Wagner's Ring Cycle without the funny hats; the equivalent of an opera company pelting you with copies of Anne Rice novels. You're completely drained when it's over and desperately in need of a shower to rinse off the raven droppings."

The real surprise is that Leonard Cohen doesn't get a mention!