Conversation of the week

Here:

Osborne: Er … You remember when I said that I had a cunning plan to reduce the deficit and increase growth?

 Cameron: Y-e-e-e-s?

Osborne: Well, it turns out I got my sums a wee bit wrong and the economy is actually going to carry on tanking until 2018 and we're borrowing a lot more than I imagined.

Cameron: And what does this mean in practice, Ozzy?

Osborne: To put it bluntly, Cams, we're up shit creek without a paddle.

Cameron: But we must do something.

Duncan Smith: How about we make more welfare cuts for the poor and the old? That way they will start to die of malnutrition and other poverty-related conditions. We could call it a cull.

Osborne: I so like the sound of that.

Heremy Junt: Just so long as we're seen to be putting more money into the NHS.

Institute of Fiscal Studies: But you're not.

Junt: Yes we are. Look at the graph.

IFS: Um, you're holding it the wrong way up.