06 December 2012

Conversation of the week


Osborne: Er … You remember when I said that I had a cunning plan to reduce the deficit and increase growth?
 Cameron: Y-e-e-e-s?
Osborne: Well, it turns out I got my sums a wee bit wrong and the economy is actually going to carry on tanking until 2018 and we're borrowing a lot more than I imagined.
Cameron: And what does this mean in practice, Ozzy?
Osborne: To put it bluntly, Cams, we're up shit creek without a paddle.
Cameron: But we must do something.
Duncan Smith: How about we make more welfare cuts for the poor and the old? That way they will start to die of malnutrition and other poverty-related conditions. We could call it a cull.
Osborne: I so like the sound of that.
Heremy Junt: Just so long as we're seen to be putting more money into the NHS.
Institute of Fiscal Studies: But you're not.
Junt: Yes we are. Look at the graph.
IFS: Um, you're holding it the wrong way up.


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