Conversation of the week

As reported in The Guardian:

Cameron: If you Scots want to have a referendum, you'll have it when I say so.
Scotland: Screw you, pal. We'll have it when we want.
Every political commentator: I say! We're heading for the gravest constitutional crisis since, er ... since the last one.
Everyone else: We really couldn't care less if Scotland gets its independence ...
Cameron: I tend to agree ... It might make it a little harder to get out on to the grouse moor, but as there's only one Tory MP north of the border, it will be easier to stay in power.
Scotland: So why are you getting so worked up about it?
Cameron: Because it takes everyone's mind off the fact that the economy is still flat-lining and we don't really have a clue what to do about it.