26 October 2005

"Archie McPherson on a bad day"

The Herald is appropriately disparaging of Mr Trump (here):

"The other thing Mr Trump is famous for, besides appearing to own half of Manhattan, is that hairdo. He may be worth a reported £3bn, but up top he's Archie McPherson on a bad day. His epic comb-over seems to have been pulled out of his left ear. From the side, the bouffant seems to hover half an inch from his skull. You start to suspect that Donald Trump The Fragrance might smell rather like nylon and wood glue. Barrelling along in The Donald's wake is a film crew from The Apprentice, filming Jack's meeting for next spring's series, but he looks too dazzled by the hair to notice. Grabbing Jack by the arm, The Donald then launches into fluent Trump, the only language he knows and understands.
"You thought my mother was Scottish. She was born in Stornoway in the Hebrides. That's serious Scotch. That's not playing games. She was a great Scotch person. I've been looking to do something in Europe and I'm looking to Scotland as one of the places because of my mother. I'm greatly honoured that he's here to get business. I have great respect for that." ...
By this point it is clear Jack has given up all earthly hope of getting a word in edgeways...
After his shrimp, steak, and having to sign an "image" release waiver for his appearance on The Apprentice, Mr McConnell emerged blinking back into the real world. He repeated the agreed line that The Donald was looking at options in Scotland, but wouldn't say what exactly and added the caveat that "lots of things can happen in business". He also said The Donald had been extended an
official invitation next year to Scotland, or possibly Scotchland. You have been warned."

I would have thought that, after his experiences with the President of Malawi, the First Minister would have learned not to invite foreign dignitaries to Scotchland...

Postscript: My American readers may wish to note that Archie McPherson is a distinguished (OK - well known) if rather excitable Scottish football commentator, famous for his lustrous ginger hair (and lurid sports jackets).

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