25 September 2007

Best of the sketchwriters

Hoggart:
The first thing we noticed was Gordon's new hair, now in a magnificent, Melvyn Bragg-style, wind-tunnel tested quiff. This is prime ministerial hair - tough, sturdy, British hair, hair as heavily armoured as his official car.

Treneman:
He told us all about his family, the wonderful and wise Browns. They are like the Waltons, though more wholesome. I’m not sure the Waltons knew as many Bible verses as the Browns. They trade parables and talents over breakfast. Plus, the Browns all have moral compasses. Gordon was showing his off again yesterday. “This is who I am,” he boomed, dial spinning like mad.

Carr:
He's going to be constantly fighting for hard-working people who play by the rules and who understand the obligations we all have. But what about those of us who want to sit by the river, watching the colours in the stream and minding our own business?

Gimson:

... the vital thing, as the Prime Minister pointed out, is to defend our British way of life.
The British way of life used to include a place for the bumbler, the idler and the joker and used to value freedom and spontaneity over state control and regimentation.
We are told that people in the olden days used sometimes to laugh at authority and liked to sit down for a cup of tea and a chat, and even thought it a good idea, at the end of the day, to relax with a pint of beer and a cigarette.
But that almost unimaginably barbaric era is over ...

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