Look, it wasn't supposed to be like this. I'm just an ordinary bloke; I don't claim to be an international statesman. Fat Eck insisted I take the justice post because I was one of the few to have a law degree (not that I was ever going to be the Perry Mason of the Scottish Bar).
Now I've got Mrs Clinton phoning me up (bit of a shock to the system that) and the London papers are writing profiles of me (why do they always have to mention the Wembley business?).
And the thing is, I'm damned if I let him go and damned if I don't. On the one side, there are Hillary and the yanks wanting the guy to be locked up and the key thrown away; on the other are the Scottish legal establishment, Jack Straw and various un-named spooks and squirrels who just want a line drawn under the entire case.
It's no fun, believe me. I'm only here for the occasional Burns supper in Canada, not this kind of international rammy. I can deal with the kiddies in the Scottish Parliament but I never expected to have to take on the big boys.