1. You have no idea of who are the celebrities in the Big Brother show (with the obvious exception of Big Ron) and, worse, you don’t really care.
2. When you get down on hands and knees to read the gas meter, you find it difficult to get back up.
3. You get fed up with people enquiring why you do not possess a mobile phone.
4. You have no idea what “twerking” is.
5. You prefer to listen to Radio Gold with its comfortable mix of 60s and 70s music, rather than tolerate the self obsessed so-called personality DJs on Radio 2 who have little or no interest in music.