05 March 2016

Project Fear

Mrs Cameron's diary reveals that Nancy has the answer:
Well fear is having the biggest moment which is totes :))) except I said to Mummy, it might sound easy but you try having to think of a new scary thing every day #projectfear? It is only week 2 & we have used up scary migrants & scary expensive holidays & the French bringing back icky squatters for scared English people #eek #typicalHollande :( Dave’s like, so how about, if we vote leave, Chinese people will literally buy up the whole of London #scary, Nancy’s like, soz Dad, that already happened, he’s like, OK, without wise EU regulations, greedy property barons will literally obliterate Britain’s precious heritage #terrifying, Nancy’s like, ditto, he’s like, plus your pension age could literally soar to 75 #spinechilling, Nancy’s like, ditto, he’s like, OK, this is good, if we leave the EU, sneering Putinist non-doms will literally bet on the outcome of degrading, pseudo gladiatorial tennis matches between the British premier and London’s mayor while global corporations pay less tax than a teaching assistant & literally absolutely everything will be run by Etonians for ever & ever, & we will have to put LITERALLY ED VAIZEY IN CHARGE OF LIBRARIES!!! Nancy’s like, srsly Dad, IRL, what libraries, how about this: literally the day after Britain votes leave Frau Merkel will summon house-sized Nazi zombies from their graves & laugh while they submerge our island home beneath innumerable layers of suffocating green slime #endtimes, Dave’s like, look, I know you are busy Nancy, but did you not READ the last dossier?


No comments: