Only the Conservatives can combine the brutality of a Stalinist purge with the low comedy of a Carry On film. It had trusted the country to reach the right decision in the referendum campaign and it wasn’t going to make the same mistake again by giving the untamed fringes of the Tory party a say.Then there is Andrea:
“It has only just come to my attention I have the support of just 25% of Conservative MPs,” she continued, forcing the words through the fixed smile, “and that, in these uncertain times, the country doesn’t need a nine-week leadership campaign.
“I’ve also taken a look at the people around me and decided most of them are an electoral liability. So I have decided to withdraw my name from the contest and let Theresa May be prime minister. Sorry to have made such a nuisance of myself. I’m now going to lie down in a dark room for several years. Thank you for coming.”
Oh, and David:
Back at No 10, David Cameron was on the phone to his therapist trying to deal with his self-destructive issues when he heard that Theresa was going to be moving in a great deal earlier than anticipated. “Bugger it,” he yelled. It just wasn’t fair. Now he wouldn’t get to fly in his brand-new Dave Force One plane to Africa. Now he’d miss his last G20. Now he’d have to find somewhere to rent as he’d given his tenants notice to leave in September. The way the day was going, George would forget to bring back a suitcase full of dollars from New York.