Teddy on holiday

OK, I promise that it's the last post on our friend, the Italian football-supporting bear. Giles Coren in The Times has managed to get hold of the postcard he (the bear) sent home:

Dear All,
Weather lovely here in Germany, everything else utter crap. Next time I say something like, “I fancy going on a walking holiday in Germany”, will somebody please talk some sense into me? And it’s not just fat-arsed Helmuts in stupid hiking boots with their trousers tucked into their socks that have got me riled up either.
I’m not saying it’s all bad: the food is lovely, against all expectations. Not a sausage or pickled cabbage in sight. I disembowelled ten sheep the other night and ate just the hearts and livers — lovely. And no complaints about the German totty either, if you go for that “big and hairy” thing. Which, of course, I very much do.
But then this morning I’m sitting in a chicken coop having a spot of breakfast when a bullet whistles past my ear, and I look out and there’s some Fritz pointing a rifle at me. It was like something out of Colditz.
Turns out this Bavarian minister has issued a shoot-to-kill proclamation on me. How’s that for welcoming? And with the World Cup only a week away. Talk to me about metatarsals. You want to try running hard for the full 90 minutes when you’ve had to chew off your front leg to escape from a steel trap...
Wish you were here, etc.

I think it must be a forgery - why would the bear write in English?