What we really really want

Wendy explains it to The Times:

Nobody understands. I don’t know why.
It’s perfectly simple. The Scottish Nationalists want independence, and we don’t. So, they want a referendum, and we don’t want a referendum. But, although we don’t want a referendum, we reckon that if there is one, we want it soon, so that people are more likely to want what we want them to want. Which is to say, not to want anything.
So, in saying that we want one now, we want the SNP to say that they don’t want one now. And they will, because they want to get what they want. And that’s what we want. Because, if they have one when they want, they might get what they want. And who would want that?
I don’t know why Gordon is confused. He must be some kind of idiot.

If only politics were that simple ...