Quote of the day

The otherwise estimable Lucy has a balanced view of the considerations underlying the imminent referendum:

There are those who argue against it, of course. Scotland should stay just as it is! Independence, nivver darken our doors! Caledonian nationalism, like all nationalism, is a terrible idea spouted by the worst, most morally and psychologically incompetent people ever to have battered a Mars bar. Think of the ethno-chauvinism it will unleash: the small-mindedness, the petty sense of superiority, the alienation, bile and gracelessness that will wash over the land, poisoning e'en unto the last crystalline Highland spring, you sunless goons!

But I say, "Tish tosh!" to such dour preoccupations. I think the "ayes" have it right, and not just because it's short for "aye, have ye no' seen wha's in charge of England the noo? Jes' a wain, wi' a face lik' a bloated haggis an' a mind mair sleekit, cow'rin an tim'rous than any wee mousie ye ivver saw! They'll aw be greetin' afore he's done". This line is carved into every shovel currently being smuggled down to Hadrian's Wall, so that the digging can start on polling night, and the country rowed 4ft north by sun up on 19 September.