31 December 2006

The white heather club with decollete

Scotland on Sunday is obsessed by Jackie:
Why do we cringe when Stewart Maxwell, the Scottish National Party's culture spokesman, demands, as he did the other day, that BBC Scotland's Hogmanay Live show is broadcast to the rest of the world as proof of its status as a "huge cultural asset"?
Why, indeed, are we remembering Jackie Bird's gaping dress and Aly Bain's lemon smile and the year the storms threatened to blow Edinburgh Castle clean off the rock and, before that, all the horrific heedrum-hodrum Hogmanay heucheramas "starring" Andy Stewart and Sydney Devine and Calum Kennedy serenading the sheep and, look out, it's the bloody Alexander Brothers, both of them?
Why? Because we're Scottish, of course.

I don't remember any gaping dress. And at the risk of dwelling upon unnecessary physicalities, is there anything there which might cause gaping?

I remember Ms Bird trying to sing a song, which was embarrassing for all concerned.

3 comments:

doctorvee said...

Do you not remember that year? It was a few years back. Instead of just greeting people with a simple "Happy New Year" when first-footing, people would say, "Happy New Year -- did you see Jackie Bird?!?"

Mr Eugenides said...

Is... is this a post about Jackie Bird's tits?

Sir, I salute you. I think...

Dave said...

Oh dear, I knew that this post would be a mistake...