An occasional glimpse into the workings of the Scottish Parliament and the Scottish Executive (or comments on anything else that takes my fancy).
07 October 2011
Running it up the flagpole
The Guardianparaphrases the Chancellor's economic policies:
Osborne: Some people have said I have no plans for economic growth. This is not true. It's just a nuisance my plans aren't very good and I've got us stuck in the worst depression since the 1930s. But don't panic. I have a new cunning plan to stimulate the recovery by making it much easier to sack people.
Conference: What? Did we miss something while we were asleep?
Osborne: Let me explain. By allowing employers to fire hundreds of thousands of full-time staff we are creating a business environment that will encourage them to take on several dozen part-time casuals.
Conference: That's brilliant! How come no one else thought of that?
Osborne: And that's not all. Oh no! As you may know, I was totally opposed to quantitative easing while I was in opposition so for this reason I now propose to introduce credit easing ...
Conference: What's that?
Osborne: I'm not entirely sure but I'm told it's yet another way of repackaging debts so they appear like assets on the balance sheets. But don't worry about the details. Because I haven't worked them out and by the time I have it won't really matter that the policy is bureaucratically unworkable because I'm only announcing it as Dave told me I had to say something that made it look as if I have a plan.
If only this were not a reasonably accurate representation ...