16 July 2015

Boris and his toys

Image result for boris johnson

The Times revels in the humiliation of the London Mayor:
Theresa May, as dry as burnt toast, had come to the Commons to tell us her decision on water cannon. She explained that it was classified as a “less lethal system”, the same as Tasers and baton rounds. Behind her, slumped in a corner, sat the dishevelled garden gnome that is Boris Johnson.
Theresa explained in a voice as dessicated as coconut that in June 2014 the mayor of London had approved the purchase of “three Ziegler Wasserwerfer 9000 water cannon” from Germany.
Did I see Boris flinch? Theresa spoke the words “Ziegler Wasserwerfer 9000” as if each was an illegal alien who had arrived in her mouth without papers. The Wasserwerfer had cost £218,000. The Wasserwerfer had 67 “outstanding issues”. The Wasser was werfer a wobbly. She’d consulted every expert in die Welt and had decided Boris was ein Dummkopf. (I paraphrase, but I think you will find my translation is sound.)
Those who play with water get wet.

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