Making a fool of herself

It's not every day that the Home Secretary is comprehensively proven to have told porkies within hours of making the claim:

May told the conference she would amend immigration rules to restrict the ability of illegal immigrants and foreign criminals to resist deportation by invoking the right to a family life under theHuman Rights Act. This incorporates rights enshrined in the European convention on human rights (ECHR).

May illustrated what she said were the problems with the legislation using cases highlighted in the rightwing press. "The illegal immigrant who cannot be deported because – I am not making this up – he had a pet cat," she said.

OK, so she got it wrong (see here); and it wasn't even an illegal immigrant. More seriously, she must know that amending the immigration rules will have no effect whatsoever on the human rights set out in the Human Rights Act and on the ECHR.

Shoddy, very shoddy.

Not a cunning plan

Credit easing - now there's a thing. But it seems half-baked somehow. The Guardian tries valiantly to explain:

George Osborne and the Treasury are still trying to work out exactly what their version of "credit easing" looks like but it is likely to involve buying corporate bonds – IOUs issued mainly by big companies – rather than bonds issued by the government (which is what the Bank of England's "quantitative easing" is).

Several possibilities are being floated. Bonds could be bought directly in the £180bn corporate bond market. Buying bonds issued by small and medium-sized enterprises (SMEs) directly is less feasible as they don't really exist. Instead banks could package small company loans and overdrafts into so-called securitisations which could then be bought.

The Treasury could ask the Bank to buy them directly, or it could create a "special-purpose vehicle" to buy them.

The key question is how would the money feed through to businesses? It seems Osborne is trying to avoid the Treasury making direct loans. Instead, by taking loans off the banks' hands, the Treasury hopes lenders will be willing to take on more risks and lend to firms that might otherwise be turned away.

But then most of what Slasher Osborne touches turns to dross. I suppose we must give him credit for recognising that Project Merlin (remember that?) has failed miserably and that something different must be done.

Deeper and deeper into the mire ...

From The Telegraph (here):

Greece was yesterday reported to have missed the deficit cutting target set for it by the EU and the IMF as part of the terms of its bail-out. According to Reuters, the Greek budget deficit will reach 8.5pc of GDP this year, missing a target 7.6pc.

An emergency meeting of eurozone finance ministers will today meet in Luxembourg to discuss the progress of Greek reforms that are necessary to secure the next €8bn tranche of bail-out money. Greece is to unveil new austerity measures.

How much austerity can a nation cope with?

Tory panic?

Is Cameron once again leaping before looking? The Independent reports:

In an attempt to diffuse the row over planning reform, the PM is to announce the release of thousands of hectares of disused public sector, mainly brownfield, land to build 100,000 new homes, creating 200,000 new jobs by 2015. Developers would be allowed to use a "build now, pay later" scheme, by paying for the land only once the homes were sold. Mr Cameron pledged "the most ambitious growth plan that we could possibly have".

Is there any evidence that house-building is being restrained by shortages of available land? Not according to The Telegraph of 14 September:

The National Trust estimates the total land bank with planning permission to be around 330,000 plots.

The figure is based on research by the Campaign to Protect Rural England (CPRE) which found that the biggest developers last year held land with planning permission for 281,993 homes.

Industry analysts say that many companies have added tens of thousands more plots to their stocks over the course of this year.

Bovis, one of the biggest developers, said earlier this month that it had bought 1,571 “consented plots”, and was buying another 2,500. Ministers say that England needs around 230,000 extra homes a year to meet demand. But according to the Department for Communities and Local Government (DCLG), only 124,000 new homes were completed last year. At that rate, the developers are sitting on more than two years’ building land.

Secondly, are property developers the kind of people that the Government should be making special financial deals for? Are they not building houses because of a lack of resources? Far more likely seems the proposition that in the current financial climate there is a lack of demand for new houses.

In all the circumstances, Cameron's latest initiative looks a bit loopy ...

A sensualist writes ...

I was sitting on the terrace of my favourite bar about lunchtime. Under the umbrella of course, for the hot sun was beating down. The bar-girl had just brought me my second beer. I watched as the condensation formed on the glass.

I lifted it, the glass pleasantly cold in my hand, and took in a mouthful. There is nothing to compare with a cold beer on a warm day. The way it slips effortlessly down your throat; the satisfactory weight sitting in your belly; the way the condensation drips on to the beer mat.

I was reminded of that old movie with John Mills and Sylvia Sims, although they gulped down the beer far too quickly. You've got to savour it. The exigencies of movie making, I suppose. And , hey, they captured the moment:

It's a fracking shame

Now look, don't tell the SNP. If Scotland had an energy resource to replace North Sea oil, we might just be looking at a game-changer. According to The Independent, our Polish friends may be leading the way:

In Poland, however, the exploitation of shale gas is well on the way to becoming something of a national mission. Poland's Prime Minister, Donald Tusk (below), has described shale gas as his country's "great chance" to turn Poland from an energy importer to a major exporter within a generation. And the subtext for Warsaw is that shale gas could not only make Poland into an exporter, but also end its age-old energy dependence on Russia.

Aye, well, shale gas. There's a wee problem. In order to get it out of the ground, you have to be somewhat brutal. Contamination of water supplies, there's the rub. But there are - maybe - solutions. Anyway, is there gas under the Scottish landscape? Again, maybe. This report suggests we may be on a winner, at least if I interpret it correctly.

Let's not jump to conclusions, but the politicians may do so ...

The queen ain't no bitch

Yo. I'm re-treading The Wire. Even better on second sight. A masterpiece:

The nerd, the ice-pixie and the bully

The speech Ed never made. From The Independent (here):

"I'm shackled to a shadow Chancellor who patronises me while overtly seeking my job either for himself or his ice-pixie missus, and the only saving grace about Ed Balls is that the punters really hate him where they are merely indifferent to me. The rest of my front bench, as Lord Prescott has graciously pointed out, is a bone-idle shadow government of none of the talents.

"Expediency forces me to pick a fight with the union leaders who put me here, the bastards, and God help me if the public sector strikes go ahead. Even as things stand, I no longer have even an obviously soft poll lead over the Tories. And to inherit this radioactive pile of pus, I broke my poor old mum's heart.

"Anyway, conference, here's the deal. I'm not quitting when no one, least of all that crybaby David, could do this frankly impossible job any better. But I stay with this understanding: unless the financial crisis becomes an apocalypse necessitating a government of national unity, my purpose remains the same as William Hague's after he inherited a loathed and discredited party in 1997.

"I am here to prevent a civil war, and ensure that Labour survives for the next leader, or two, or even three, to take us back to power a decade or more from today. Thank you for listening, and please don't embarrass me or yourselves by getting up."

Rather better than the one he did make. But he's his own man, whatever that means ...

Twisting the night away

The Independent thinks that the eurozone's travails are nearly over:

... we are now approaching the endgame. Officials have not sought to knock down the idea that the Greek default will involve a 50 per cent haircut. We will get a deal on bank recapitalisation. And the EFSF will grow. None of these things will happen because the stock market demands them or even because Germany has shifted policy. It is simply the realisation that they are the only options left.

If only it were that simple. It may (probably) be the case that we will get from here to there, but certainly not without a lot of feet-stamping and tears, especially when the poor bloody French and German taxpayers have to recapitalise those banks which have lent billions to the Greeks.

But it does nothing to correct the imbalances in the eurozone where the German economy grows ever stronger and the Mediterranean club becomes less and less competitive.

Music of the week

This is Mickey and Sylvia from 1957. The video is a little later.

Will the markets never learn?

So there you go. The Footsie is up by more than 100 points, on the strength of the latest, perhaps mythical, plan to save the euro.

Have they not learned from experience that EU financial plans dribble into the dust? It is inevitable that the EU's new clothes will become invisible on closer inspection. At which point the markets will resume their downward trajectory, amid much wailing and gnashing of teeth, not to mention the rending of invisible garments.

Is they is or is they isn't?

The new plan to save the euro? The Guardian says they isn't:

There isn't one. This is a wish list dreamt up by Tim Geithner, US Treasury secretary, along with possibly the UK and more than likely some emerging nations. In Brussels they say it's "wildly premature" to talk of a multitrillion-euro bailout fund and an "orderly" halving of Greece's €315bn debt within the six-week deadline set by Geithner and George Osborne.

On the other hand The Independent says they is:

Under pressure from the US and the rest of the international community, eurozone officials are considering a "big bang" plan to dramatically increase the size of the European bailout fund to tame financial markets and bring the sovereign debt crisis under control.

A European Central Bank (ECB) board member threw his weight behind a plan, first mooted by the US Treasury, to increase the size of the European Financial Stability Facility (EFSF) by allowing it to borrow additional funds from the ECB.

The comments, by Lorenzo Bini Smaghi at a conference on the sidelines of the International Monetary Fund, were the first hints that a plan to leverage up the EFSF is being considered by the ECB and the eurozone governments which are contributors to the fund.

You pays your money (or not) and you takes your choice (or not). But Angie Merkel will decide ...

Picture of the day

Yes it's Ed 'Fernando Torres' Balls:

The vicious circle

Greece is going bust. It needs help from the EU and the IMF to meet its debts. The help is provided subject to Greece adopting a programme of austerity. This causes the Greek economy to contract, so that it is less able to meet its debts. It needs more help from the EU and IMF which in turn demand greater austerity, with the result that its economy contracts further. Meaning, yes, more help is needed and greater austerity is imposed.

And so on and on. Is there a way out of this vicious circle? If so, it seems to have escaped the authorities ...

Quote of the day

From The Guardian (here) on those neutrinos which moved faster than light:

Subir Sarkar, head of particle theory at Oxford University, said: "If this is proved to be true it would be a massive, massive event. It is something nobody was expecting.

"The constancy of the speed of light essentially underpins our understanding of space and time and causality, which is the fact that cause comes before effect.

"Cause cannot come after effect and that is absolutely fundamental to our construction of the physical universe. If we do not have causality, we are buggered."

Note that scientific technical term. And don't ask me to explain.

Retire to a cave?

Don't know about you but this seems a bit iffy. The Guardian reports:

Much of Nasa's nearly six-tonne Upper Atmosphere Research Satellite (UARS) will disintegrate as it hurtles through the atmosphere, but the space agency anticipates that 26 potentially hazardous parts, weighing a total of 532kg, could remain intact and impact on the surface. The debris will spread over an estimated 500 miles.

Among the parts expected to survive the fiery re-entry are four titanium fuel tanks, four steel flywheel rims and an aluminium structure that alone weighs 158kg. Depending on their size and shape, the components will strike at speeds of between 55mph (90kph) and 240mph (385kph).

...

Noting that safety was its top priority, Nasa declared the odds of someone being struck by a falling part of the spacecraft at one in 3,200.

Odds of one in 3200 seem a bit on the short side for comfort. Admittedly the chances of any particular individual being dumped on are verging on the infinitesimal but nobody is ruling out the possibility. An uncomfortable thought ...

Update

More on the matter (here):

Oh my God! What if one lands on me? The odds are approximately 1 in 3,200, according to Nasa.

Remind me again, for comparison purposes, what my odds are of winning the lottery. For all six numbers, one in 13,983,816.

Hmmm. That's sobering for a couple of reasons. What about being eaten by a shark? One in 11 million.

So I should be 3,400 times more afraid of this satellite than I was after I saw Jaws. I'm struggling to see how you worked that out.

Music of the week

Well OK, if you insist. Enjoy ...

Dope fiend

I suppose it means something when a Dimbleby seeks to enhance his street cred by admitting to having taken cannabis and cocaine, though I can't say it is clear to me.

As ever, I'll stick to my drugs of choice, alcohol and nicotine. Anyway, I've never learned how to make a spliff.

Foreign money worries

Hooray! Somebody has noticed. The Independent website reports:

A consumer watchdog today issued a super-complaint to fair trade officers about the amount holidaymakers are paying for their foreign currency.

Consumer Focus wants the Office of Fair Trading (OFT) to investigate what it believes is complex charging and poor information for travellers spending money abroad.

Consumer Focus said charges for using debit or credit cards overseas were unnecessarily complex and confusing.

It added that marketing phrases such as "0% commision" and "competitive exchange rates" were misleading.

It reckons that charges to customers for exchanging money are around £1 billion per year.

As a result of hard experience, for my day to day monetary purposes, I tend to bring out sterling (preferably in English notes) and change it at a local bucket shop cambio. They charge no commission but tend to knock between 2% and 3% off the central sterling-euro rate. For longer term needs, I use an on-line exchange agency (HiFx) to send euros to my Spanish account; the rate of exchange is not great, but it's a lot better than getting my bank to do it (£18 per transfer). At all costs, avoid changing money at the airport where you'll pay up to 7% or more off the central rate.

It's just gas

I think Mr Hassan is seeking to be helpful (or maybe not). Anyway, The Scotsman relays his prescription:

Scottish Labour has to create a culture which is comfortable with exceptional people emerging, leading, taking risks and making decisions. And then beginning to flesh out a vision and bigger picture.

Much more than Labour's internal review on structures and what the leader is called or not called, the party needs to become comfortable with the sort of leadership which is appropriate for the modern age. One which is positive, not negative, delegating, not controlling, focused around an individual, but who is part of a team, and who has a generous, ecumenical account of what Scotland is and what it can become.

Aye well, easy to say. But how do we get to there from here? And, if you don't tell us, are you just floating balloons in the air? (I could have put it less politely, but I have the sensibility of my readers to consider.

Der Vogel strauss*

Now it's getting serious. The Independent reports:

Loose talk costs lives. Broadly, that is how one would sum up the contents of the interview which was given by Angela Merkel to German radio yesterday. Unfortunately, denial remains the most appropriate word for the Chancellor's ongoing approach to the eurozone crisis. The capital markets now put the chances of a Greek sovereign debt default at 98 per cent, yet Ms Merkel yesterday chose not to address that fear.

Instead she rebuked those members of her own government who have had the nerve to talk openly about how to handle a Greek default in recent days. If no one talks about it, she seems to think, it will not happen.

And that was before we learned of the downgraded credit ratings of two French banks. It increasingly looks likely to end in tears.

* = ostrich

Not pitching the woo

Foe those of you expecting a learned exegesis of the banking proposals (not that this blog does learned exegeses), or an assessment of the diplomatic implications of Cameron's playing footsie with Putin, or even further dire prognostications on the future of the euro, forget it. In the immortal words of Ella, it's too darn hot. According to the BBC website, the Malaga temperature at 8 o'clock last night was 95 degrees. I'm just melting away ...

And the rugby has disrupted my routine. There's something not right about watching an international match at 3 in the morning, beer in hand. Not helped by the over-excitable Scott Hastings, only marginally better than mogadon man, Vickery. And that commentator on the French match who, having made an attempt at both the English and French pronunciations of Vincent Clerc, settled for a mish-mash of the two (albeit failing to decide whether to pronounce the final consonant in the man's surname). Do these guys not do any homework?

And despite Scotland's less than sparkling performance (and none of the other favourites did particularly well), hope springs eternal for the match against the Georgians ...

Aphrodite in a denim mini-skirt

Hey, it was not a hassle-free morning. It was hot. The supermercado was busy and carting a six-pack of beer was paining my shoulder. And my ankles were more than a bit iffy. I’d changed some money (always better to do it in a local exchange rather than a bank). So I was hot and sweaty by the time I made it to my favoured pub in the village.

But I’d barely unloaded my rucksack and sat down under the umbrella, when without any prompting a vision of loveliness appeared with a pint of the foaming liquid. It cost me 2 euros, but it was the best 2 euros I spent that day. I don’t even know the maiden’s name, but she made an old man quite happy.

They seem fine to me

Oh, these MPs; they are naughty sometimes. The Telegraph reports:

Mr Amess told the Commons: "I don't know whether we have brilliant presenters.

"I would just say that it annoys me when one or two female presenters, I don't know whether they've had too much botox or something, when they are presenting the news and it's a very serious subject, they are smiling, which I find slightly annoying."

He did not say which newsreaders he had in mind.

To whom could he possibly be referring?

Meanie

Not sure I would allow him to accompany me to the pub. If he's not prepared to finance a cat. then he can't be trusted to buy his round. The Guardian reports:

A special quiz night is reportedly being held in Downing Street, to provide for a furry neet, conspicuously not in education, employment or training, since he can usually be seen asleep on or under a chair at No 10.

A No 10 spokesman said cautiously: "I'm afraid we cannot confirm staff events," but the quiz for Downing Street staff is said to be happening in the state rooms, to raise funds for rations for Larry the cat.

When Larry, a rescue cat from Battersea dogs and cats home, moved in last spring, No 10 promised that he would be a community cat, not a drain on the public purse.

So Cameron expects his staff to pay for the damn cat - poor show.

A capitalist writes ...

Aye, well. If you wanted in, you've missed the boat. The Telegraph reports:

National Savings & Investment has pulled its hugely popular inflation-linked savings certificates.

The announcement is the latest blow to savers who have seen their income plummet at a time when most savings accounts fail to offer any real rate of return once inflation and tax are taken into account.

NS&I’s website and call centres stopped taking new sales of Savings Certificates yesterday. Postal applications received today (7 September 2011) will be honoured, but all postal applications received after midnight tonight will be returned to the customer.

But I'm all right, Jack. I'll get my inflation plus for the next five years. To them that hath shall be given, and all that.

Take a chance?

It probably doesn't matter. Neither the Scottish Tories nor a successor with a new name is likely to succeed. But at least Murdo is putting in an effort, unlike this deadbeat trio in The Telegraph:

Prime Minister David Cameron, while not wishing to get involved in a public slanging match during the Scottish party’s leadership contest, believes that the abolition plan is a “distraction” from the main fight of countering First Minister Alex Salmond’s plans for a referendum on independence and the breaking up of Britain. David Mundell, the minister of state at the Scotland Office and the only Tory MP north of the border, has also set his face firmly against the move as has the man still idolised by a large section what’s left of Scottish Tory support, Lord (Michael) Forsyth of Drumlean.

If Cameron, Mundell and Forsyth are agin, then the bold Murdo must be doing something right. Besides, what have the Scottish Tories got to lose?

Music of the week

Rugby

I see that Scotland's first match in the World Cup will be against Rumania at 2 am on Saturday morning. The good news (I think) is that it will be broadcast live by STV.

More convenient (if not necessarily more watchable) will be the match between Scotland's group competitors, England and Argentina, at 9.30 on Saturday morning, also on STV.

I suppose the timing puts paid to watching it in the pub.

Anyway, I'll be in my Spanish hideaway, soaking up the rays and re-acquiring a taste for Mahou. But my spirit will be in the land of the long white cloud.

Quote of the day

From The Telegraph (here):

No name for the new party has been decided, but when he formally launches his leadership campaign in Edinburgh on Monday, Mr Fraser will unveil the slogan: “A new party for a new Scotland.” He said: “If I am elected as leader of the party, I will turn it into a new and stronger party for Scotland.

“A new party. A winning party with new supporters from all walks of life.

“A new belief in devolution. A new approach to policy-making. A new name.

“But, most importantly, a new positive message about the benefits of staying in and strengthening our United Kingdom. A new party. A new unionism. A new dawn.”

Let's hear it for the no-finite-verbs party. They should have stuck with Bella ...

Psychology?

According to The Telegraph (here), one in 25 business leaders may be a psychopath. Only one in 25? So how come so many of my ex-bosses fitted the description?

A mendicant nation?

O Lord, protect us from the wrath of expatriate Scots. Here is the ubiquitous McTernan, writing in The Telegraph:

This is the first dirty secret of Scottish politics: that Scotland is doing very well, thank you. When it comes to public spending, it is a mendicant nation, always looking for more. Yet before the credit crunch, Scotland had enjoyed unbroken economic growth since 1980. Yes, there was mass unemployment as old industries closed, but new strengths emerged in banking, biosciences, computer games and energy, whether oil, gas or wind. You wouldn’t know it from the way that Scottish politicians – of all parties – talk, nor from the behaviour of successive British governments.

Of course, the fault here lies as much in Westminster as Holyrood. Ministers in London have been transfixed by Scotland for the past quarter of a century, terrified of getting it wrong. Tory governments mollycoddled the Scots, out of fear of unpopularity. Labour, all too aware of where its electoral support came from, did the same. This wasn’t leading, but following. The normal rules of politics, of making a case or challenging your opponents’ arguments, were suspended. Instead, what Scotland wanted, it eventually got.

I don't recall him writing similar stuff for The Scotsman. But then, after all, he was a political apparatchik ...

Funny money

The Mail indulges itself with the usual song and dance:

The gulf in state spending between Scotland and England has hit a record £1,600 per head.

Government spending in Scotland averaged £10,212 per person last year, £1,624 per head more than in England.

And, as usual, they omit to mention that state spending in London on a comparable basis is more than in Scotland, as it reaches £10,256 per head. (See table 9.4 here)

Rugger

I can't wait ...



(Hat-tip to Ed)

The tram

Well, I have to admit that the final (?) outcome is not all that good.

But if it makes any difference, I would be prepared to take a wee jaunt once or twice a year to see the west side of Edinburgh - provided of course I could use my bus pass. But I don't suppose that it would make much of a contribution to mitigating the annual loss of £4 million.

They say that we get the politicians we deserve. What did the Edinburgh burghers do that was so wrong?

Unfair, I know

This post is intended to drive some of my former colleagues potty, especially those who had to deal with Scottish Enterprise, as indeed I did, for a while.

From The Scotsman (here):

A look at SE's top table...

1 Lena Wilson, chief executive, £200,000

2 Paul Lewis, MD sectors and commercialisation, £127,000

3 Anne MacColl, SDI chief executive £100,000 salary plus £72,000 in "benefits" including £56,039 relocation package

4 Linda McDowall, business network and communications director, £112,000

5 Jim McFarlane, MD growth, innovation, infrastructure and investment, £138,000

Rather disproves the old adage about peanuts and monkeys.

Storm in a teacup

Hey, biscuits are important. My sympathies are with Sir Fred. How would you feel if you were expecting a chocolate hobnob but only received a rich tea (or a pink wafer in the case in question)?

Admittedly, it might appear somewhat draconian to threaten disciplinary action, but when you're the boss of a multi-million pound empire, is it unreasonable to insist on your chocolate hobnobs?

I'm a plain digestive man, myself. Or something.

Meaningless statistics

The economic gloom deepens. The Independent reports:

Anxiety will be increased by a survey published today showing that fewer than half of Britain's 11 million low to middle-income earners have any money left over at the end of the month – another blow to hopes that the economy will pick up after the 0.2 per cent growth seen between April and June.

Yes, it's another pointless survey:

Research by Ipsos Mori for the Resolution Foundation think tank found that 48 per cent of people in low to middle-income households – defined as having a gross income of between £12,000 and £48,000 a year – have any cash left over at the end of each month. This is compared with 66 per cent among higher-income households.

Fewer than three in 10 (27 per cent) of low to middle-earners make any monthly savings, compared with 47 per cent of those on higher incomes.

Now you might wonder about the 52% of low to middle income households who do - even in today's harsh climate - have cash to spare at the end of the month. And equally about the 34% of households earning over £48,000 who don't.

But the poll is essentially meaningless without some historical context. It does not tell us if (or by how much) the situation has deteriorated by comparison with more beneficial times. So there is little point in becoming anxious about it.

Footie again

Admittedly, my footballing allegiance lies nearer Easter Road rather than Gorgie. But can Hearts fans put their trust in a manager who - apparently - has only one-third of the necessary eyebrow equipment?

Oh woe ...

The bad news:

The German economy has come to a near-standstill in the last quarter as the global slowdown hit Europe's biggest player.

In the latest blow to the eurozone, Germany grew by just 0.1% between April and June. Economists had expected growth of 0.5% during the quarter. Germany's Federal Statistics also revised down the growth in the first quarter of 2011, to 1.3% from its initial estimate of 1.5%.

The good news:

The most rapid growth was recorded by Latvia with a 2.2% increase in GDP during the second quarter of 2011.

Well, bully for Latvia!

Bravissimo!

Deux langues étrangères? Chapeaux, messieurs! Le Herald nous dit:

The Scottish Government has announced ambitious plans to teach all primary pupils at least two modern languages.

In the week pupils return to school after the holidays, ministers are to announce they are setting up a working group to discuss how to meet the target.

The working group will look at the role of employers, universities and parents in promoting languages, as well as how the subjects are taught at school.

A mon avis, il serait beau si les pauvres enfants apprennent à parler leur langue de naissance avant d'aborder une langue étrangère. Quant à une deuxième langue étrangère, das ist unmöglich.

Mais, bonne chance, les gars!

Hullo, hullo, hullo

If I wanted to establish a single Scottish police force, I wouldn't make a song and dance about it like the SNP. The Scotsman reports:

A SINGLE national police force is to be created in Scotland amid claims that the Scottish Government is "hell-bent" on ignoring public opinion on the issue.

The proposals will be at the heart of the SNP government's legislative programme later this year and comes despite overwhelming opposition to the idea in a recent consultation.

No, I would quietly and gradually transfer functions and resources to those bodies which are already national in character, such as the the Scottish Crime and Drug Enforcement Agency. The regional forces would simply be left to wither on the vine, until such time as no-one cared about their disappearance.

Cynical? Perhaps ...

Fear is the key?

The new adviser to our faddish Prime Minister takes an uncompromising approach. The Beria to Cameron's Stalin abjures all this wishy-washy liberal stuff. The Telegraph reports:

Speaking in New York, Mr Bratton, 63, said police forces should be more assertive in their dealings with offenders, leaving no doubt that crime would always meet a firm response.

“You want the criminal element to fear them, fear their ability to interrupt their own ability to carry out criminal behaviour, and arrest and prosecute and incarcerate them,” he said.

“In my experience, the younger criminal element don’t fear the police and have been emboldened to challenge the police and effectively take them on.”

So there's the answer: fear. Forget about respect and rehabilitation. Dismiss talk of being tough on the causes of crime. Just put the fear of death into the louts and rioters.

You can of course take it too far - look at President Assad of Syria. But I am sure, I think, that Generalissimo Cameron knows where to draw the line. He does, doesn't he?

Going through the motions

I find it difficult to avoid the impression that Cameron and co wish to be seen to be acting tough rather than actually delivering a so-called crackdown. The Independent conveys the flavour of the No 10 propaganda:

Ministers and the security services are planning draconian powers to shut down or disrupt mobile phone messaging services and social networks in times of civil disorder.

Downing Street sources said they were considering the "moral and technical" questions of how to grant new powers blocking all mobile communications to prevent rioters organising through websites such as Twitter and the BlackBerry Messenger service.

David Cameron said "nothing should be off the table" in efforts to prevent a repeat of this week's rioting in London and cities across England.

But they are only considering blocking social networks; given the practical difficulties, it seems unlikely that anything will come of it. They are also considering further powers of curfew, as well as investigating the use of the Army for policing duties.

The only firm intention seems to involve giving police further powers to insists that scarves, hoods or masks be removed in appropriate circumstances.

I suppose we should be grateful that the government is avoiding any commitment to ill-thought out responses. And I suppose it is inevitable that they would want to appear to be acting tough. But it betrays a certain cynicism ...

Foreign adventures

Oh dear, it's all going pear-shaped. The Independent reports:

Rebels, from the Wars of the Roses up to the present civil war in Libya, usually try to postpone splitting into factions and murdering each other until after they have seized power and are in full control. However deep their divisions, they keep them secret from the outside world.

Not so the Libyan rebels. Members of their Transitional National Council (TNC) in Benghazi last month detained their military leader, General Abdel Fatah Younes, on suspicion of treachery, lured him away from his bodyguards and murdered him. This week the head of the TNC, Mustafa Abdel Jalil, sacked his whole government on the grounds that some were complicit in the killing. He was apparently forced to do so in order to quell the rage of the powerful Obeidi tribe to which Younes belonged.

I would have thought that, following Iraq and Afghanistan, we might have learned the lesson that plunging into foreign adventures was unlikely to bring about satisfactory regime change. Now we face the usual problem of how to get out without making things even worse.

Quote of the day

David Cameron:

"This is criminality, pure and simple."

Well, maybe. But probably not.

One of the few lessons I have learned over my six decades and more is that matters such as those afflicting English cities over the past few nights are seldom simple, neither in their cause nor in their cure. Those who are certain in their opinions about complex social and criminal phenomena are invariably up a gum tree.

So, if it can be done sensibly, restore order to the streets, but distrust anyone who claims to have the answer.

It's a gamble

So, after days of precipitous decline, the FTSE 100 managed a modest recovery yesterday. Is that it? Panic over? Can we go back to our knitting? Well, I doubt it.

I really don't mind the fact that the stock market has fallen. (After all, it is what stock markets do - rise and fall, rise and fall.) But a fall like the one we have just experienced creates room to make profits: we can buy shares cheaply and expect them to rise in value.

The trick is knowing when the market will turn. Invest too soon and risk further losses; invest too late and any profits will be diminished. I intend to leave any further investment until the decline reaches 4,200 or so.

(Unless I see a bargain in the meanwhile ...)

Just in case you're interested ...

Did you ever wonder why paper comes in the size it does? Blame the Germans:

The international paper size standard, ISO 216, is based on the German DIN 476 standard for paper sizes. ISO paper sizes are all based on a single aspect ratio of square root of 2, or approximately 1:1.4142. The base A0 size of paper is defined to have an area of one m². With the given aspect ratio of square root of two, this corresponds to a piece of paper which its longer side is one metre multiplied by the square root of the square root (that is, the fourth root) of two and the shorter side being the reciprocal of this value. Rounded to millimetres the A0 paper size is 841 by 1,189 millimetres (33.1 × 46.8 in).
Successive paper sizes in the series A1, A2, A3, and so forth, are defined by halving the preceding paper size along the larger dimension. The most frequently used paper size is A4 (210 × 297 mm).

Not a lot of people know that. The UK adopted this standard in 1959, though I do not recall anyone making much of a fuss at the time. Before then (and indeed for a number of years thereafter) we commonly used foolscap, which was slightly larger than A4.

I suppose that it’s too late to demand that we rescind our adherence to the international standard. And why would one want to? Maybe I would just like to be contrary. Is globalisation such a good thing? Anyway, unlike the youth of today, I still think in Fahrenheit.

Have a nice evening.

Funny money

OK, London's burning, the euro is headed for hell in a handcart, Obama is floundering in a sea of misplaced intentions. But Manchester City are paying Sergio Aguero (who?) £250,000 per week.

How do you spend £35,000 plus every day?

It'll end in tears ...

Music of the week

Some of us have never been in style ...

We're all in this together (part 26)

The Telegraph knows where its priorities lie:

Economies are collapsing, markets are in despair, but Britain’s grouse moors bask in the glow of happiness. And why not? This is where the real money heads in a crisis.

Next Friday is the Glorious Twelfth – the start of the grouse season – and most indications are that it will be a record one. Shooting parties will pay the highest prices ever, and the birds are predicted to be out in unusual abundance. Estate owners say the early days of the season are sold out – mostly to City types, the landowning aristocracy and wealthy foreigners.

So look out your tweeds, get yourself a gun and prepare to massacre a host of inoffensive wee birdies.

The ebb and flow of capitalism

So the FTSE-100 has fallen dramatically over the past week and umpteen billions have been wiped off the value of shares. Does it matter?

Well, obviously, it matters if you are an investor who happens to own some of those shares. But perhaps it matters less than you think. If you have to sell your shares, now or in the immediate future, you may experience a stonking loss (depending of course on the price which you paid for them - and many will have paid less for them than even today’s reduced price ). But most shareholders will hold on to their shares. Sooner or later (and it may be a year or two), the market will return to the levels of last month. Not that you will ever see headlines proclaiming that umpteen billions have been added back to the value of shares. But the market will eventually rise again.

As for the rest of us, the fall in share values may affect the private sector pensions of those due to retire in the near future. But, otherwise, calm down. The world is not coming to an end (unless you happen to live in Greece, or Portugal, or Spain, or Italy - but that’s another story.)

We have enough real economic problems, such as potentially increasing unemployment and real declining standards of living, without investing too much concern in capitalist shareholders.

Surfing the tarmac wave

The euro crisis, again again. The Independent reports:

Prescribing the curative medicine is the task of the leaders of the members of the eurozone. But saving the euro requires them to contemplate a much greater degree of economic convergence than has been deemed acceptable before. And as we know from the American debt debacle, even in times of crisis, politicians are not good at making such sensitive decisions.

Still, the American bickering did do the Europeans a favour in a sense, providing a hugely useful distraction during the week or so following the deal agreed for the second bailout of Greece. Europe's leaders at least got a few days to gather their thoughts – but just look at how the markets' focus turned back towards the eurozone the moment a US deal was agreed.

So the European politicians had the opportunity to gather their thoughts? Did they gather them? No, they all went off on holiday ...

Wishful thinking?

Always look on the bright side? The Independent does:

As for taxpayers' equity stake, let us say this: on almost any conventional yardstick, Lloyds' share price today significantly undervalues what is now an increasingly profitable bank – one-off charges aside – with market-leading positions in UK banking and mortgages, and scope for cost savings as the Lloyds-HBOS integration continues.

...

Despite some of the gloomy forecasts being made in the wake of Lloyds' update yesterday, there is still every chance of the taxpayer recouping its investment in the end.

Aye, well. There's an awful long way to go from the current share price of 32.16 pence to the level of over 70 pence required to avoid losses on the Government's investment.

Meltdown 2

Whither the global economy? Is it as bad as we think? No, it's worse. More blood letting expected today. The Guardian reports:

Policymakers were the heroes of Meltdown 1, thumbing through their copies of Keynes's General Theory to come up with the measures deemed necessary to prevent the global banking system from imploding. But if the next few weeks see Meltdown 2, the policy options will be limited. Interest rates are already at rock-bottom levels while the flirtation with Keynesian fiscal policies was brief. As one analyst put it on Thursday, the monetary and fiscal guns are not obviously full of bullets.

If you are looking for a chink of light (and it is only a chink), the pound is doing rather well against the euro ...

Who knew?

Humph! The Guardian has managed to find ten cocktail bars in Edinburgh, with none of which am I familiar. You - I mean I - learn something every day.

I don't suppose they serve Deuchars IPA, however, ...

Here is the weather forecast

See those jokers at the IMF? The Independent reports:

In an assessment of the state of the UK economy, the IMF gave its backing to the Government's policy of "fiscal consolidation" to cut the deficit through tax hikes and spending cuts, backed by low interest rates set by the Bank of England.

[Translation: you seem to be dressed appropriately for the weather.]

Weaker-than-expected growth might require the Government to adopt "looser macroeconomic policies" such as tax cuts to stimulate demand, while the Bank launches a fresh round of quantitative easing - effectively printing money - said the IMF.

[But it might rain - so you better have an umbrella handy.]

However, the Bank must be ready to intervene to dampen demand by increasing interest rates from their record low of 0.5% if there are signs inflation is taking off, said the report.

[But, in case the sun comes out, you should take with you some sun-cream.]

What's the point?

Sartorial non-elegance

Look man, they're on their holidays! Why should I care if Cameron chooses to wear office shoes with no socks?

And Osborne's jeans are not dissimilar to those I wear (admittedly not with a jacket)

Poor show

How the Tories treat the peasants, as reported in The Telegraph:

Her brusque treatment of the Prime Minister may have left her out of pocket. Mr Cameron paid the €3.10 (£2.71) bill with a €50 note and left no tip. "I was a bit surprised about that because I'm told he's quite wealthy," said Miss Ariani.

Mean sod.

Raise the black flag

Yes, you can find Proudhon and Bakunin on my bookshelves (admittedly undisturbed for many years). Does that make me a criminal? Well, probably, according to the Metropolitan police:

"Anarchism is a political philosophy which considers the state undesirable, unnecessary, and harmful, and instead promotes a stateless society, or anarchy. Any information relating to anarchists should be reported to your local police."

Silly Mr Plod.