Expensive choo-choos

Zoe Williams poses an unanswerable question for the Royal Family:

"I find it very hard to get exercised about the cost of this family to the nation. I don't care whether it's 61p off each of us a week, a month or a year; I don't care what the chinless younglings count as an official engagement; I couldn't give a stuff whether Charles combines the furtherance of British business interests with a holiday somewhere really posh. Just don't care. Don't care if they install gold taps in all their bits of marble stuff.
What I really want to know is, how do you spend 33 grand on a train journey? Let's imagine that a first-class ticket to the farthest place in the country, with the nicest complementary coffee and also tea, might cost 500 smackers. Then throw in as many bacon sandwiches as a person, even one with a divine right, could possibly manage, and then turn that bacon into foie gras. Then get them all absolutely lashed to the gills on a luxury alcoholic beverage. I still cannot force this up to more than a grand a person, and I thought the entourage was only five. It's not even as though that figure accounts for the cost of the train. It's just the journey - £33,000, on one journey. What else do they get for that? Dancing train horses? "