"What will the conquistadors do now? In the good old days, Cortez and co would nip down to the supermarket, buy an avocado, gorge themselves on the soft flesh and then extract from the stone a liquid that could be used for ink for official pens.
Now the new world's imperialists will have to reach for their Biros and pencils: Sainsbury's is about to introduce the stoneless avocado....
"It's a eureka moment in the world of avocados," said a fruit buyer, Clancy McMahon. "The stone usually takes up around a quarter of the fruit and is always difficult to remove. This way you get more avocado for your money."
The new fruit is smaller than the stoned variety, but is said to have the same nutritional composition.
"So soft is the fruit that with the top sliced off it can be eaten with a spoon, just like a boiled egg," rhapsodised Ms McMahon."
I feel sorry for the scientists concerned: "What did you do in the war against global hunger, daddy?" "I invented the stoneless avocado, son. Now stop talking, eat your breakfast and dip your soldiers into your avocado."
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