08 April 2006

Bonking again

Why dwell upon it? Well why not? It is always fun to see senior politicians caught with their pants around their ankles. The Independent dresses up its report on the serial bonker with a superfluity of social and historical observations:
"The trouble with posh totty scorned is that the revenge tends to be posh too, as the nation's favourite buffoon Boris Johnson found out to his cost this week. His sometime squeeze, Petronella Wyatt, was riled by reports in the News of the World - who had staked out the Tory member for Henley engaging in a series of trysts with another attractive young woman, also not his wife. Ms Wyatt accused the bumbling MP of having "satyriasis".
...
Crikey. Let's hope Boris hasn't got anything that bad. Still, there are things you can do about the problem. As well as courses like Dr Birchard's there are numerous self-help groups with names like Sex Addicts Anonymous, where presumably people stand up and begin their testimony by saying things like: "I'm Boris and I'm a bonker ..." Which may be humiliating, but better than the solution offered by one website: "a much more drastic option is castration". Yikes!
Boris may protest that this is all a bit OTT. After all, he might proffer, just because a chap has parked his bike in the wrong shed, again, doesn't mean he's a fully horned satyr. And certainly he doesn't look like one in the video that the News of the Screws have put out on the internet; as he leaves his new ladyfriend's flat in Chelsea, he is wearing a pointy beanie hat which makes him look more like a gnome than a creature of lustier myth."

You might wish to read the whole article because it's well written, informative and witty. But basically it's about bonking...

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