Boris at PMQs

The Guardian reports:

 “The mayor of London has suggested that leaving the EU would herald a return to the halcyon days of the British empire,” smirked Yvette Cooper. “Can the prime minister invite him to return to the 21st century?”

BoGo winced. Anywhere other than the 21st century would be preferable right now. The sudden reappearance of a conscience was proving more and more troubling. If only he had just been able to stand up and say ‘Vote me for prime minister’ and have done with it, rather than pretending to give much of a toss about whether Britain stayed in the EU. Bloodstains began to discolour BoGo’s shirt. He looked down at them, desperately hoping they were stigmata. They weren’t. They were bullet wounds and there was more to come when Labour’s Chris Leslie pulled out his AK-47 and observed that the pound was now trading at its lowest level since BoGo had come out in support of Brexit.

Enough was enough and BoGo staggered out of the chamber in search of a doctor.

Unfortunately the only one at hand was Dr Liam Fox, a eurosceptic who is so dim he is always at risk of being sued for political negligence. Fox’s contribution was to get the wrong end of the stick about Article 50 of the Lisbon treaty. No surprise there, as there are few sticks which Fox manages to find the right end of. BoGo looked round, hoping for a miracle. Up stepped Owen Paterson, a man who makes Liam Fox look like an intellectual colossus. With friends like these ...