“So Boris,” I say. “It’s crunch time. Are you in or out?”
“Do you mean in of out?” says Boris Johnson. “Or out of in?”
I rub my eyes. Only with Boris do I need to have these conversations. It’s infuriating. Everybody agrees that his position is of paramount importance to whether my EU negotiations are considered a success or not. And yet, he never seems terribly interested in them.
“In of in,” I say. “Or out in out.”
“Wait,” says Boris. “How many referendums are we having?”
“One,” I say, firmly. Then I tell him that things are looking up. Because, after months of negotiation, I’m on the verge of striking a deal with Donald Tusk.
“That’s odd,” says Boris. “You’d think he’d be busy in New Hampshire.”
“Tusk,” I say. “Tusk.”
“Don’t tut at me,” says Boris, crossly. “You’re only the prime minister.”