Here we go, here we go, here we go

It is indeed rather embarrassing. The Herald looks forward to tonight's television coverage of the footie:

UEFA Champions League Live ITV1, 7.30pm

Live coverage from Parkhead as Celtic face the pride of Denmark, FC Copenhagen. Hosted by Jim "Adverse Glasgow Synonym" White, with Andy "Winker" Walker and Gerry "Unacceptable Face of Scottish Soccer" McNee, plus a rare big-time outing for Archie "Whooph!" Macpherson.

I don't know which is worse: numbingly inarticulate ex-footballers unable to get or keep a job in football management or soi-disant sports journalists whose idea of commentary consists of little more than naming the players on the ball and shouting when they near goal. Bring back Arthur Montford!