05 February 2007

As any fule knos...(part 2)

OK, I suppose it's because I'm an aging hippy. But I never saw the point about getting hung up about the written language. The odd spelling mistake, the occasional misplaced apostrophe - I mean, who cares?

But some people get really anal-retentive about it. It don't matter that spelling standards are only about three centuries old or that language is always changing anyway. No, they want to dictate their petty rules to the rest of us. These people are basically insecure. Me, I blame the nanny state. As the French say 'je m'en fiche'.

I mean, they get upset about double negatives eg "you cannae go tae nae football match this afternoon". They don't seem to understand that double negatives are standard practice in demotic Scots and, indeed, in most Germanic (even Indo-European) languages. And, as for apostrophes, they're only written - you never pronounce them. So if we don't need them in spoken language, why bother in written language? People may argue about the necessity for a semi-colon; does it add to the sum of linguistic utility? And if I start a sentence with an 'And' or a 'But', it's a conjunction of the stars.

Spelling - who needs it? As long as you can understand the word being referred to, does it matter? The scope for ambiguity caused by spelling is extremely limited (OK, I'll give you the hoary old sentence 'The sun's rays meet/the sons raise meat') and is invariably clarified by the context. If I can't remember how many l's are in "instalment", will the guys at the HP company care, as long as I make the payment on time? And who's to judge whether it should be 'judgment' or 'judgement'?

As for the subjunctive, who understands it? Nobody, except those weirdos with a degree in classics. Let it be, I say.

So, there you are. A wee bit more tolerance, please, for those of us who don't have fancy degrees in English literature. Rant over.

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