EVERYTHING will carry a government warning label, under plans to prevent anything from happening, the Department of Health has announced...
Public health minister Caroline Flint said: "This announcement follows an extensive public consultation exercise.
"More than 1400 people managed to seriously injure themselves with the consultation document. It should have carried a warning label."
She added: "This is not about the government trying to nanny people.
"We simply want to tie their shoelaces, tidy their hair, ensure they have a good breakfast and then threaten them with a £60 fine unless they brush their teeth."
You know it makes sense.
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